致青春

人家常说中学时期是一生当中最难忘的求学生活

我也曾经相信过

曾几何时我们形同陌路人？

天下无不散之筵席

大家各奔东西，为自己的前程努力

随着时间的流逝

大家的距离越来越远

大家因为环境的变化也都变了

我明白自己的性格或许不容易相处

或许大家都不喜欢我

或许我真的很令人讨厌

我从来不觉得我有被你们重视

毕业了一段时间更加能够认清这个事实

明知道是这样

可是我的心依然揪着，很不舒服

曾经试过你们大伙儿一起出去聚会

而我没有被邀请

我自问没有拒绝你们的邀约很多次

或许从头到尾你们都没有考虑要叫我

就因为顺便而叫

而我也厚脸皮地出现

如今依旧很痛心

是不是因为我做错了什么

导致我犹如过街老鼠一样

我有时也会想大家过得怎么样啦

真的很想聚一聚

我记得大家的生日

那你们呢?

如今因为class不一样了

就不能相聚吗？

为什么学妹们可以？

我真的很羡慕，真的

想想大学朋友们回到自己的hometown

一定可以与朋友相聚

而他们的朋友也会因为他们回来而抽空聚一聚

相反的，大家多数都在吉隆坡反而无法向他们一样

觉得自己很失败

没有人会因为我放假，互相迁就

是不是因为我没这样

所以大家也不需要？

我很困惑

Space to Think

I smiled in front of the laptop while reading Tharo's blog.
Honestly speaking, I found what she said was pretty right. Undeniably, I may be part of them. *Opps*
Everyone has the right to do and post anything they like. Just that those create a space for everyone to think and comment.
To me, social media is a platform for me to know how my friends doing, any news update, assignment and academic purposes, mutual space to share things among friends. Nowadays, I believe most of us will not take the initiative to contact our friends when we think of them out of nowhere. So here is the use of social media. However, if we did contact them, I believe most of them will have a thought in their mind "What she wants from me?" or "Sigh.. She sure has sth to ask then only she contacts me." Due to all this thoughts and worries, we may take a step back. Actually, we may just being random sometimes to concern about our friends. That's it. Most of us will take it in another way. Hence, the creation of these social medias have separated people further apart from one another.
I understand high school friends are the most precious one as we experienced the beauty of adolescences together. However, environment has changed us and this leads to the gap between us. I appreciate those who are still here with me and willing to put in the effort to keep in touch with me but not backstabbing me. Nevertheless, I still feels envious to see people hang out with a whole gang of high school friends. Due to all this, it makes me appreciate my uni friends more. I appreciate every single moment together, including those hardcore and stressful moment. They are the one who accompany me all the way during my early adulthood besides those high school buddies who are still with me currently. In this stage of my life, I tend to look further and foresee my future. I keep telling myself not to lost contact with them in the future but who will know what will happen in the future? No one knows. Therefore, live in this moment and cherish every single moment with the people around you. No one have the responsibility to walk with you for your rest of your life but family will not ditch you for sure. So, spare time to spend with your family besides having fun with buddies and friends.
Since my high school time was over, I have never been into any friendship problems. Who knows it comes back during my uni life. I involved myself into those because I care.
To whom it concerns,
I am feeling sad and loss when there are so many of them complaining about you. I listened to those grudges till I feel so fed up. Eventually, I am slightly affected by them. That's why sometimes I don't know how to face you. I understand because of what you have done to me before, you feel like compensating by being the best of you in front of me. Somehow I don't find it appropriate as it makes our friendship impure and not natural. Before what you've done to me, I can accept every single part of yourself. Now I still can do it, so why must you hide your true self? Everyone will have judgement so why must you just worry about how I judge you? You told me you care about me but I don't really feel that. At certain time I will just feel that I am not as important as you told me. Someone else seems to be the most important to you as you don't worry how she thinks about you. You can tell her every single thing. That's the pure friendship I meant.
I know you can never take critics, that's why I choose to keep everything in myself. Even if I have said it, I don't think thing will change. Everytime I observe what you do, I worry about you and think we can improve together. We need friends who can criticise you and let us know about our mistakes in order to achieve improvement, However, I can't do that to you. No one likes criticism but I believe it is a must to learn to accept it. We will definitely need it in the future. There is no such thing as "I am born this way","That's me, you can't expect me to change." all this nonsense. There is sth so called "effort". I don't expect myself to change my personality or what, but attitude and certain thing rather than personality can be changed over time if you have the will to do so. I wish you can be better so you won't have much problems in the future, like how I wish myself can be. It seems that I shouldn't think this way as all my worries and efforts may be in vain most probably.
In a nutshell, I have no idea what to do besides trying to force myself to accept all these facts. I wish you can meet someone who can tell you all this and you will be willing to accept and listen to the someone. All the best to you. This doesn't mean that I am giving up on you, on our friendship. I just need some more time to think about what I should do.

Confession to My Love- 061014

 Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to baobei

Happy birthday to you

I am glad that I am able to celebrate your birthday with you.
This is a seriously failed birthday surprise but I have tried my best ady.

I know b won't mind about it! Hehe..

Thank you baobei for being here for me.
I know b keep feeling you're a bit failed as a boyfie but I know that b will be better.
I don't mind waiting to see the improvements as we will spend years and years together. 

Recently my mood may not be good and b may need to put in more effort to tam me.
I am sorry for being emotional neh.. 

B is always the one who keep running in my mind when my mind gets to rest.
Every move I make, I wish b will be happy.
It's impossible for me not to think about you.
We may have argument sometimes but I believe arguments make us understand each other more.
Hence, it makes our relationship better. :)

I miss Mr.Tall.
The real one and the soft toy.
I gave this to b because you are the first one I can think of when I saw Mr.Tall. :)

Don't stop trying to make me feel secured yea. Hehehe.. 

 This photo is taken to show off the watch. Hope b like it!
Next time you may receive a sophisticated one! Hiak hiak~~

Today is the 231st day since we are together.
Everyday with b is a bless!
Hope b stay healthy and happy.
Love me more and I will double my love for you, my dearest baobei. :)
A simple post with thousand thoughts in my mind.

Self-reflection

It seems that I am a very irresponsible gardener who always leaves my plants to the destiny of wilting. Phew~ Somehow I can smell the rust covering my brain. It's time to use Coca-cola to remove the layer of rust on my brain. (*I witnessed the power of Coke in removing rust in a video shared in Facebook). What I can say is my vocabulary is depriving. Sometimes I can hardly find a word to express my thought. Guess it is the common syndrome of people in this "civilised" world. (*I am just giving myself an excuse for not putting effort in improving my English especially in writing and speaking. *feeling guilty*)

I am currently having semester break after being loaded with tonnes of group assignments and presentations in semester 5. Anyway, this semester provided me a chance to be more courageous to speak in front of people. Besides, I learnt to be more patient in working with others even though I will still talk bad about the slacker or whoever who didn't do their job properly. The group project which impressed me the most is the business project. It is 100% coursework-based and we have zero idea about business management. So it is a great satisfaction afterall when you get to see a thick proposal about the whole business plan in opening up a community pharmacy. What I can say is- it's not easy to be a leader to lead 11 persons who have their own thoughts and ideas. Ideas flow here and there and there will be no conclusion in the end. Things keep being redone and redone just to make it near to perfection. (*Perfectionist mode on in doing assignments) It was damn stressful to get this done as pressure kept coming from other group who had done faster than your group, group members for being not punctual in submitting their respective parts, the cincai work done by them, other workload pending and so on. Those drove me crazy! One more thing to mention is my 3 hours hard work in editing just went missing because of my carelessness! I left my pendrive in the elab and it couldn't be found on the next day. It was so depressing to see the hard work just disappeared for nothing, not to say about the new pendrive I bought one month ago and the souvenir from my bestie when she travelled to HK! *heartbroken

When there is sth bad or unfortunate thing happened on you, you will get to see who is really caring for you. Thank you my friends for helping me to search for my pendrive up and down, checking every single corner of each elab and seeked help from Mr.Google. I appreciate that.

After talking about the semester itself, now I would like to touch a bit on my result before moving on to SNGD 4.0. (*It seems I only update my blog in semester-basis! :p)
A lot of our seniors told us semester 5 is honeymoon semester. After we experienced it, I can tell you with firm tone- IT IS DEFINITELY NOT A HONEYMOON SEMESTER! The workloads will drive you crazy and you better pray hard to get good partners in those group assignments. I guess many of them get to see the real side of their friends after this semester. However, it gave us an opportunity to learn how to work with people and deal with person whom you don't like in a working environment. In short, we are building team spirit in ourselves. No matter how bad the person is, we still need to learn how to deal with them and accomplish our tasks regardless of these people. Okay, back to the topic. We had final papers for 5 subjects which is considered less compared to the previous semester. Nevertheless, we all get to "love" MEQ because of this EOS. My friend claimed that MEQ stands for mind-exhausting qustions! Only one line of information in the notes worth 30% in the MEQ part. At this moment, we understand the need of self-directed learning. Somehow we can't blame anyone but ourselves. Thank God! Result turns out not to be too bad. I am satisfied with it. :)

Boring blog about study and here comes our SNGD 4.0. This time we went to Pulau Pangkor and Ipoh for 5D4N. I know it is a rushing one but surprisingly many of you feel that it's alright. I feel so relieved as I know that I didn't organise and arrange it properly.
Besides showing photos, I will add a little bit of caption for those interesting stuff happened during the trip. Ready to slide down the memory lane for those who went? Hehehe..

DAY 1- Bus trip from Puduraya to Lumut- Ferry trip from Lumut Jetty to Pangkor Jetty-Coral Bay Resort, Pangkor

 Selfie with this cutie before going to the bus station. 

Since we were taking LRT to Puduraya in the morning with our luggage, we all became sardine from the first LRT station till the 9th station. It was an unforgettable sardine LRT ride!

 OTW to Lumut

 Lumut Jetty

 Winnie's bodyguards 

Woohoo~ Pangkor Jetty after 35 min of ferry trip.

Boobie gang led by a boobless one! Quoted by XY

 Cappie day! SWAG & STRESS!

 Group photo at the beach after checking in.

 The boys

 The girls. 

 Epic shot by me when TK was going to fall. 

 NICOLE

 HUILING

 JENN

 WINNIE

 PIGGY KT

 MEI NV KIM EIK

WEFIE!

FRIENDSHIP BRACELET

Actually we didn't do much on the first day of the trip. :)

DAY 2: Water sports- Cycling

 Before the boat trip

Ling with sea urchin! 

Small accident happened to me when the guy threw the sea cucumber and it touched my feet.

 Non-stop screaming and laughing!

 These three person acted cute in the middle of the sea and pity the photographer who stood under the sun. XD

 After the fun water sports, SMILE! :D 

 Small accident happened during the second water sports as it flipped and threw three of us on the beach when the boat turned.
So scary!

Just find it nice so I decided to take a photo of it!

After taking our shower and resting for a short while, we were out for cycling! Woohoo~~ 

 My favourite!! :)

 With this chaoda punya XY

 Group photo taken by the receptionist!

Thanks to the "team leader" who has a good cycling skill- KT! 

Kota Belanda checked!

 Not enough bicycle so Frozone took a motorcycle and fetched Jenn who doesn't know how to cycle!

 I wanna be in the cool group photo so Frozone took this! Not bad lar.. Give you a like!

DAY 3: Check out- Ferry trip to Lumut Jetty- Bus trip to Ipoh

Planned dresscode- LUBANG!

Oppsie.. I am so short! No no no.. He is too tall.. :D

 After checking in the hotel in Ipoh and having bean sprouts chicken aka nga choi kai as dinner, we went to Kinta Riverfront for a walk. Too bad it was drizzling!

 It is just like the i-city in Shah Alam, KL. 

 Due to SS's face problem, we couldn't cycle. The person said the road was too wet and we may slip. When we were about to leave, we saw many people were cycling there. In conclusion, SS's face problem! Hahaha...

A nice group photo by the professional photographer and his professional assistant- Wenjun and Cherry! Thanks for bringing us to walk around in Ipoh. 

After the walk in Kinta Riverfront, we went to have dessert at Tong Shui Street. :)

DAY 4: Hiking at the Bukit Kledang, Menglembu- Dimsum as breakfie- Lunch at KT's house- Entertainment time at Cherry's house- Dinner at Dong Gu Ting- Ipoh Parade

 Maroon-purple team!

 Red team with a cacat black shirt KT!

 Blue team! Green team don't wanna take photo neh!

 We couldn't make it for sunrise but indeed it is a breathtaking scene!

 Whole Ipoh is under my feet!

 Xiang/Siang's family without Xiang Eik.

 We made it to another level!

 Finally! See Shun Ern's face can truly see the meaning of relieved!

 Laser tag at Ipoh Parade at night after visiting KT's and Cherry's house.

Despite the unhappy thing happened on this day, this marked the end of our last night in Ipoh. 

 Group photo in Cherry's house. Her cute nephew photobombed though.. 

 Paying attention~~

A normal shot before the candid shot above!
We wanted to go to those caves in Ipoh but because of the super heavy rain, the plan was cancelled. So we went to Cherry's house. Initially we wanted to go to the Hotsprings Retreat in Tambun but the plan was cancelled too due to insufficient time we had.
Everyone enjoyed playing and dancing in Cherry's house until we forgot about the time. 

Forgot to show our gratitude to KT's family especially his parents. Thank you for the lunch treat and kacang putih. I believe everyone enjoyed the lunch very much and the cake baked by his mum is so delicious. Thanks to my beloved friends, I received enough teasing and the "yam" faces during the visit. 

DAY 5: Last day in Ipoh- Breakfie at Nam Heong- Street Art- Buy souvenirs - Visited a cave before we went back

 I purposely put one only because XY looked so fair in the photo! XD
For the first time and forever~~

 SS the stalker!

 Ling's family without Jacky.. ;(

 SM partner!

It's Shun Ern's hand but the photo was taken by me! 

 Special way of expressing her love- Kajima~~ 

 Funny Jenn joined the pee gang!

 Cute and sweet couple. XD

 Behind the scene! This is sooooo funny!!!

KT wanna eat the leafie?? 

 SS jumped also almost the same as KT's standing height. Hahaha..

 Just because it was drizzling.. 

 Failed! Chain putus lar bang..

Behind the scene- credit to Wenjun

These marked the end of our SNGD 4.0! The feeling is intangible when we sent Frozone and XY off to the bus station and KT sent us off at the train station. For me, the feeling was even more intensed as he is no longer following me back and accompany me. It was so regretful for not hugging you before I left but that time we couldn't do that. *sob sob
When I saw your message in the train, tear drops and I couldn't hold it anymore. I don't know why the feeling is more intensed this time and I actually took longer time to adapt the days without you.

That's all for this post. :)
Hope you enjoy reading it! :)