Growing up & Take it as Challenge

I'm going to experience the next stage of life soon

In the progress of preparing myself,I realise that there are so much to learn

The attitude and mindset should be different

It is the time for me to behave like an adult

Have a mature thinking and yet not too conservative 

Actually I found that I can rarely be positive in thinking

That's why God send you to me 

In order to remind me to stay strong and be positive in life

The challenges come one after one 

It will never come to an end as life is all about learning and coping 

I hope I can cope well 

It may be very suffering and uneasy at the beginning

But I must always remind myself to endure and persevere 

I cannot be defeated that easily 

If not what is done is all wasted and become meaningless

I need to grow up 

I need to overcome the obstacles alone but with the support from those who love me

I must tell myself to be grateful 

I'm having a life which is much more better than others

Trying to communicate with my subconscious mind and hypnotise myself

Quote from my only one 

"First step is to dream

Second step is to believe

Third step is to act

Fourth step is to succeed"

I will tell myself not to give up and always believe in God

Believe in what I'm going to do 

To believe it,we must have a strong determination

Never be influenced by any negative power which lead you to failure

To take action,we must be determined too

These are the toughest part to succeed

Must always remind myself by listening to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus

I appreciate those friends who gave me some ideas and advices 

In our life,we can't meet many of friends who can point out your mistakes when you did sth wrongly

Who can put themselves in your shoes and understand your situation

When I'm down and upset,I may not accept all the things you guys told me

But after I have calmed down,I will really consider what you guys said to me

Frankly speaking,I always expect some kind of consolation from people

That usually won't happen in the real life

This only make my life seems more miserable 

My biggest weakness

I should be grateful because people still with me when I'm not in the right mood or I'm facing problems

I'm glad to have you to be with me

Those who did,you know who you are 

Thank you and sorry

Good luck to Sinyee tmr!

The Dark Night

Before the night came,I thought it would be a "bright" night

I have so many things in my head to share

Yet something ruined it

Thanks to it,my mood all gone

I can't even talk properly,can't even listen properly,can't even enjoy properly

It is so hard to seize the chance

It just went off 

At this dark night

I realise that I'm such a bitch

I always think I'm right

I don't know how to think for others

I don't know how to put myself in others' shoes

I don't know how to understand people and be considerate

I sucks

I always think I can manage I can do it

In fact,I can't

I overestimate myself 

I confused

I need some guidances 

I need some ideas

I don't know I can cope with it or not

My brain is full of question marks now

I'm doubting about my own ability

I don't know.........

A month

Loiter to Garden of Tranquility

Just drop by to update about my current life

As most of you know,I got a call from IMU two weeks ago
According to IMU,my conditional offer will be withdrawn if I still cannot confirm with them

Due to this call,I need to make up my mind earlier than what I expected 

Tomorrow I'm going to settle the first instalment and some documents to confirm my offer

Out of all this,the most troublesome and fretful one is the accommodation

Now it is kinda hard to get a room that I'm looking for

What I got is "sorry,it is rented out" 

"sorry,it is no longer available"

Due to a sudden call,many things have changed 

Due to financial problem,I need to settle so many things regarding the fees

Due to financial problem,I need to give up my dream-study in overseas 

I will pursue my study with my hard work and enthusiasm 

Last thing,the perseverance 

I'm so sorry because few days didn't touch my h3lix 

A nice outing with my gang

I still feel one kind because you are not there

Like a body without a soul

Went to the place we hung out before

It is like reminiscing our sweet time

Thank you for making the outing meaningful,my friends

We are going to face the day together-16 August

That is the day which you know where to proceed

Good luck friends and me

Good luck to those who did Cambridge A levels-13 August

Take care everyone

And the only one

I miss you so much

ILY

The Third Week

Today is the third week we persevere

You are still as busy as a BEE

But I can understand

I don't know what's wrong with me today

Just feel like crying

I feel that my heart is very heavy today

Suffer a bit from heartache

My day seems so packed and occupied 

But my mind is extremely emptied and messy

Trying hard to make myself feel better and happier

Maybe I need a rest or what

Seriously,I have no idea

I should make myself busier and occupy my time with many many things

So that I won't have time to think so much

Suddenly recalled how hard I cried that day

Now I feel there is sorrow deep within but I can't do anything
Not even crying

Seriously,NO IDEA

Maybe somebody said something and the "fire" in my heart is blew out

This "fire" does not stand for anger

But it is a spirit,determination

It is kinda demoralising

It is the time for me to wake myself up and keep the "fire" burning in my heart

It should not be extinguished by anything

I can stand firmly,I can...

I must tell myself to stay strong to face any possibilities

And now I should make myself adapt to a new life

A life of being alone 

Stand still and face every single difficulties alone 

Toughly...

And yea,I should be able to do it

Should be...

To Sinyee

Actually be a tutor is not really hard

Maybe I have no qualification to comment about anything 

But just to let you know patience is the most important

Your students are kids,so this is different from my situation

But I can truly understand your feeling

This is quite normal as we are students too

Sometimes we need to be a bit carefree

Not to say give up on the students or what

Maybe lecture will do

I don't know because my students are secondary school students

They should be able to understand what I'm saying

But we are human and we can't control what they think

That's why it is kinda hard to change their mind and attitude

Take it easy 

This will definitely be a good chance for you to grow and gain something

Smile and welcome it..=)

Day 18

At this tranquil night

My mind is quite peaceful

There are many inspirations but they are not organised

I'm not going to sort it out 

Just a simple and random post about my day and feeling will do

Today bee sat for his UMAT

Couldn't get the chance to chat with him more 

But I was able to wish him before his UMAT

Feel kinda sad for him because he couldn't manage to finish the paper and he felt quite disappointed

Anyway,you have done your best

Now you can relax 

Don't need to suffer in practising it any more

Please take good care of yourself

I miss you more tonight

One of my bestie told me this

To take the first step is always the toughest one

But when you continue in doing it,things will become much easier

The main secret of recipe is perseverance 

When you want to learn sth,for example I learn guitar

No one teach me and I have no basic at all

Keep searching for the guitar tutorial video in youtube

No one will know whether the way I put my fingers is correct or not

When I took the first step to learn,I need to bear with the pain 

Hold the pain and keep practising the chords 

The strings have to be pressed harder in order to produce perfect sounds

I found it tough and I wondered why my fingers are so retarded

At the same time,I tell myself not to give up

People can do it means I can do it as well

After some time,there are callus on the fingers

I can stand the pain and the pain is totally insignificant now

Although my basic still not strong and a simple intro of a song also I can't master

I choose to persevere in order to master it

Nothing is impossible

Despite I feel tired in persevering,there will be a power from my subconscious mind

Asking me not to give up and continue practising

I think that's what I should do for my study and relationship as well

I won't know what the result is
But I know if I never attempt to persevere,I will get nothing

Today I had a wonderful outing with Karen
Too bad Jenn cannot make it
We shopped and had an awesome lunch at Tony Roma's
Had a nice chatting session with her as well
A simple yet nice outing
I miss my college classmates
I'm glad to meet you
Thanks for painting one of the chapter of my life

Jenn & Sin yee
Good luck in your driving test
All the best and be confident

Half of A month

Yesterday was discussing about us 

I'm glad to come out with such a decision

You happy I happy

Distance is far but we can overcome it right?
It has been half of a month we continue like this

Hope our bond is strong enough to persevere

At the same time

We promised to be frank and trust each other

If the thing that we considered happens,then we promised to give ourselves a chance to start a new life and let go

Maybe at this time being,this will be the best way?

We won't know

But I will not regret with my own decision

In the process,we will need a lot of trusts,loves,understanding

distance between two hearts is not an obstacle,rather a beautiful reminder of how strong a true love can be 

Stay strong and move on!

Happy birthday to Karen

I'm so sorry because I couldn't manage to wish you at 12.00am

Have a blast 

Thanks for your concern 

I appreciate it

A friend who always motivate me when I'm slacking

Push me and encourage me when I'm lost

Thank you

Sorry to Sin Yee for the last minute cancellation

I would like to replace one if there is a chance 

Promise

Sorry to Zi Chian and Li Chin

I couldn't play my role well when you vent your depression to me

I know my reply is seriously terrible and useless

Couldn't manage to console you when you're emo and frustrated

Couldn't manage to encourage and motivate you when you're demotivated and stressful

Couldn't manage to make you smile even when you're sad and depressed 

I fail in being a good listener and friend

I seriously hope that I can give you the strength to move on

Maybe not that great but at least something that can make you feel relax for a while or relieved

I will support you from my deep heart core

Hope you can receive it and stay strong

This is just a part of life

Go with the flow

Another 30 minutes 

It will be 20th of July

Our 8th monthsary

Maybe you will feel weird as he is not here anymore

But our final decision
GO WITH THE FLOW

So now we consider together?

I don't know

Don't think so much

He will always be the one whom I will refer to when I have problems or anything to share 

He will always be the reason for me to smile

Even it is just a text message

I saw a quote

"never give up on anybody because miracles happen everyday."

Don't know whether I should believe or not but it is kinda true

Just go with the flow will do

About my h3lix

I'm practising "qing tian" by Jay Chou

At the same time I'm practising my transition

Today my fingers are naughty

My ring finger kept touching the next string 

Once I have adjusted my ring finger

My pinky pressed improperly 

I really have some problems in coordinating my limbs and fingers

That's why I have to put much more effort to play string instruments

But I won't give up easily as I believe practice makes perfect

Now my intro part sounds like an intro 

Hope I can play it more smoothly

Then come to strumming part

Life still the same

Managed to sort my photos out and made it more organised

So I spent some time in doing it 

I wish I can improve myself during this holiday before I start my degree

My brain is a bit lag 

Even a simple calculation also I will make mistake

It seems I have to put some efforts in improving myself in order to be a better person

I bought an English book which I hope I can improve my word power for better expression

Those words or preposition that we will get confused are in

But seriously I hope I can start reading English novels

I just don't understand why I don't have the interest in reading it

Partly because I always need a dictionary beside when I'm reading English novel

This is really potong stim

Friday comes again

It comes to the end of a week

Very soon we have to say goodbye to July and say Hi to August

Today should be the 12th day since you have been there

Take care

Noname 

I understand the "last minute" feeling

No worries yea

Keep the good memories and let go the bad one

It is good enough to have a chance to enjoy with them yea

And I know you may take a while to mmm

Because I understand the feeling very well

So...take time and stay strong

Your ming zhong zhu ding..what doesn't kill you make you stronger!

Cavan

So sorry because I couldn't manage to help you to get your thing done

Hope you can find a suitable one and she will feel surprised

She will like whatever you buy 

I'm sure

Sinyee

All the best in your job

I'm sure you can handle quite well

Zichian & Lichin

The busiest one

I understand how busy and stressful you are

But please take good care of yourself 

Take a rest or a deep breathe after burying yourself in the tonnes of tasks for long time

Okay

I'm sorry for being wordy and long-winded 

Good night peeps

And it is 12:00 AM now

=)

ILY