Worse than BEAST

I am not sure whether you have read about this extremely saddening case on 16 December 2012. 

The gang rape case in Delhi, India

On 16 December, a 23-year-old female who is a physiotherapy intern was on the way back home with her male friend after a movie. They boarded a bus that was being driven by a joyrider. The woman became suspicious because the bus deviated from the normal route. Her male friend was beaten by the six men who were already on board. He was beaten by an iron rod. The woman suffered the same thing as those BEASTS dragged her to the rear of the bus, started beating her with the iron rod and raping her on a moving bus. She was raped for almost an hour and after that she was being thrown out from the moving bus together with her friend. They were found along the roadside in an unconscious state and partially clothed. 

According to her medical reports, she suffered serious injuries to her abdomen, intestines and genital due to the assault. The doctor said the damage indicates the penetration of a blunt object which is suspected to be the iron rod. Can you imagine an iron rod is being used to penetrate through our vagina?! They are not human! Why on earth they survive as a human? She was intubated, on life support and in a critical condition even after several surgeries. On 26 December, she was flown to Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore. FYI, Mount Elizabeth Hospital is a multi-organ transplant speciality hospital. However, the decision of transferring an ICU patient to Singapore was being questioned and criticized. She never regained her consciousness in Singapore. On 28 December, her condition deteriorated as she suffered from severe brain damage, pneumonia, abdominal infection. Eventually, she died at 4:45am (Singapore time) on 29 December. This is such a shocking news for everyone in the world. People keep criticising and condemning the bloody hell rapists. The six BEASTS would face death penalty if they are convicted of the murder of the woman. Seriously, I don't think death penalty is enough to punish them! It is just too little and easy for them. I get the chance to read a comment in a Facebook post and I would like to give a "like". This is what the best comment I have found, 

"The fact remains that this bunch of animals tortured, humiliated and killed a young woman who had a bright future ahead of her. They should get surgically transformed into women without any anaesthetic and thrown into a male prison to be gang raped every single day for the rest of their sorry lives!"

Rest in peace.

不懂怎么了

最近老是觉得事事很不顺心

心里的不到安慰，得不到平静

一直焦虑不安，也不知道自己在执着些什么，烦恼些什么

想法很负面

在这个时候，没有一个值得我依靠的地方-雪上加霜

尽管家人都在我身边，但我却难以启齿

朋友？一个字-忙

曾几何时我们之间的距离已经越来越远

我以为只要我坚持，事情会有转机，原来事实不是如此

朋友不需要很多，真心的有几个都够了

我还是头一次遇到那么失败的session

还蛮难相信这会发生在我身上

一向喜欢什么事情都安排好好的我

似乎不再这么想了

因为无论你安排得多么妥当，事情也会变得不妥当

我懂我不是一个很好相处的人，不是一个好惹的人

有些东西，坚持久了，人也会累的

尤其是单方面的坚持

真让人心力交瘁

不再敢渴望从你那里得到任何的安慰

很多事情已经变了

人长大了，什么都变了

思想也跟以前不一样了

人都是自私的，你在说那些话的时候，又是否考虑过我的感受？

有些时候遵从，并不代表我自己没有想法，这只是不要让局面变得很难堪

我不说你不懂，我说了你会懂吗？

我很想现在睡了都不要再醒来

Goals

Long-termed goals

• Be a successful and professional pharmacist. Get a good job scope and a working environment which I like. Earn money to give my family a better life. 
• Buy a house. This has been my dream since long time ago. 
• Travel. I hope I can get the chance to go around to understand the cultures in different countries. 
• Continue my study abroad. (if only it is possible). I understand it is not easy to study abroad but I just wish to have a try. 
• Slim down! I think most of us wish to do this! 
• Be moderate. Don't think I have a good character and temper. So I think I have to work harder.
• Speak fluent English. This may sound silly but I really wish I can. 

Short-termed goals

• First class honour!! 
• Get 30% off for my tuition fee to lighten my parents' burden. It is extremely hard to get CGPA 3.9 and above!
• Master guitar. At least learn one song in a month. 

I can't think of any at this moment. 

So far these are what I can think of.

See you. 

Announcement

If you're interested in reading my blog, here is another blog you may want to read.

Hope you like it. 

http://journey-to-my-heart.blogspot.com/

A Lesson To be Learnt

Someone told me
God loves us, that's why He gave us many challenges in order to make us tougher

As we grow, we met different kinds of matters 

When we were young, we used to think we will get whatever we crave for as long as we work for it

For example, parents offer a great present and request you to get excellent result

You will definitely work harder than usual in order to achieve the target that they set

After you have experienced certain thing, you will not think the same way

Too many things are beyond our control

Sometimes, no matter how hard we work, how much effort we put, we will never get what we want

We are just able to hope and wish to get it

That's how minute we are

Anyway, I always believe thing happens for a reason

All the things that happen to us in our lives are somewhere down the line, destined to happen

Try hard to convince yourself, your effort is not in vain
I extracted this from somewhere else

"Everything that happens to us in our lives happens for good and teaches us a lesson. Perhaps one should learn from every kind of experience whether good or bad. People who keep their chin up even in the worst testing circumstances can always end up making a lot out of their lives."

This comes to the end of my first issue

This thought came across my mind recently

The relationship between human seems so fragile

It is not easy to get friends who appreciate you 

At certain time, we will just get some obscure motivations

Things just don't go right when your eyes are blinded by something else

I should say heart instead

I just can't help it when I miss my friends who treasure me 

Feeling lonely when I can't get someone whom I trust to talk to, to rely on

We just need companion
Anyway, I shall stop here 

Hope you peeps are doing well

Enjoy your day ahead
Last but not least, thank you for spending your precious time

Say I LOVE YOU when You're not listening..

Today, 20112012

A memorable day which I will never forget

The same day in 2011, I hid in the blanket and said "tick"

I remember how fast my heartbeat was, I remember how warm my face was

And I remember how happy I was

That kind of intangible feelings still stuck in my head

I will never forget

Throughout the year, many things have happened and changed

We smiled, we laughed, we looked at each other, we sang together

We are glad that we are owned by each other

We were so happy to be together

Recall how we met, how we started the first conversation, how we started the first text message, how we got close, how we cared for each other without we knowing it, how we started our relationship...

Until one day, you told me that your PR in Australia was granted 

I cried terribly because I knew it cannot be continued any more

From the day onwards, there was a reminder set in my mind

We must appreciate the time we left 

After our Tioman trip, the feeling grew intensely as you were going to leave in few more days

The night before you left was a sleepless night for me

Recalled those nostalgic moments-our first "yours fits mine", our first hug, our first kiss

I still remember how many times I woke up and checked my phone

I woke up at the time you woke up, you set off from your house, you reached airport, before you departed 

I won't forget how terrible I felt during the first two weeks after you left

We are 2594.74 miles apart and I respect your decision

Until one day you said you wanna try LDR

I was happy but I was worried too

LDR is not easy to maintain and great determination is needed

I restricted myself from thinking too much

 I told myself to believe and persevere 

I believe you do too

So we trust each other and we text everyday 

I read a few of articles on LDR to get my stand firm 

Sometimes I will be touched by those words as they really describe my feeling 

We are far apart but we are happy 

In such a long distance, we still have someone whom we love to support each other

Communication is vastly important in order to catch up every single details of each other's lives

You will always be the wise one for me to refer and share my problems

You have such a power to make me feel calm and clear all my doubts

Of course, you always have the ability to make me smile

However, thing didn't go smoothly

Something has happened which led to the end of our relationship

"In a relationship" or "single" is just a status 

For me, we're not end yet

I still have the faith even though I know I shouldn't have this thought

I don't know how to stop myself from loving you and let you go

Today, I want to tell you

"Bee, happy 1st anniversary!

Our bond is extraordinary, beautiful and real.

It's remarkable how wonderful you make me feel.

Sometimes I look at the sky and I will think that you and I are looking at the same sky.

You will never know how much you mean to me.

I love you bee and thank you for loving me.

I don't know how you feel now but I just wanna let you know how I feel.
Tear drops because we are no longer together.

Heart smiles because we are still the ONE.
Thanks for telling me I'm still important to you.

I'm not going to text you all this as I don't want you to give me some kind of reply which I don't like.

So, I will just leave the message here and don't think you will see it.

Everyday I wake up and every night before I sleep, you're the one who occupy my mind.

I miss you very much.

Bee,I love you."

Nice mail

Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 60 years of age owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinion. But it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously. Here are ten mantras to age gracefully and make life after retirement pleasant. 

1. Never say ‘I am aged': There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age. 

2. Health is wealth: If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take health insurance cover. 

3. Money is important: Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed. But never take it for granted. 

4. Relaxation and recreation: The most relaxing and recreating forces are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Learn to sleep well, practice meditation, love good music and see the funny side of life. 

5. Time is precious: It is almost like holding a horse's reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash — use it profitably. Live this moment. 

6. Change is the only permanent thing: We should accept change — it is inevitable. The only way to make sense out of change is to join the dance. Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be happy that our children are blessed. 

7. Enlightened selfishness: All of us are basically selfish. Whatever we do, we expect something in return. We should definitely be grateful to those who stood by us. But our focus should be on the internal satisfaction and happiness we derive by doing good to others, without expecting anything in return. 

8. Forget and forgive: Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP. 

9. Everything has a purpose: Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and right in his own way. 

10. Overcome the fear of death: We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on. 

Hope you peeps enjoy reading it
To the only one

Thanks for sharing

Safe and sound

I remember you said
Don't leave me here alone

This will be a hectic month for most of us

That's why I seldom get the chance to know about you,my friends

How are you? Hope you are doing well

For those who are going to sit for STPM on 19 Nov
syane.ms.h2o wishes you all the best in your exam

For those who are going to have any midterm test or class test or final exam

syane.ms.h2o hopes the lady luck will be with you all the time

Today I'm just being random 

Suddenly miss here so much 

I think it's because I have not been blogging for quite a long time

That's why I have the inspiration but I fail to express it completely

Actually sth happened which made me wonder WHY

God,You keep sending me some messages which I think somehow it is a clue for me

To teach me how to behave 

However, it doesn't work 

I just can't restrict myself and my feeling

Maybe I have misinterpreted Your message

I just need Your guidance

Or should I just go with what I think and hold for such a long time?
I don't know and seriously I have no idea

God, please guide me

You want me to CHANGE or TRANSFORM 

I will really think about it 

In the process, I will need a lot of determination and courages

I sincerely hope You can guide me to the right path

I don't wish to pursue the wrong thing even I hope it is right for me at this moment

October!

It has been few weeks I didn't blog

I guess everyone is so busy until no one notice I have ditched my bloggie for so long

It seems that October is a busy month for everyone

Those who are having study break, especially Lichin

All the best in your EOS examinations

Study hard and take care!
First and foremost, I would like to thank those who planned so hard to give me a birthday surprise!
It was an advanced birthday celebration on 221012

I'm dumb as usual

Actually I guess sth is going on but I didn't know it was on yesterday 

I'm happy and surprised by those awesome friends

This surprise was very special because there are my high school friend, pre-U friends and uni friends

Now I would like to thank them one by one

Thank you, Karen. My only Punjab friend!
Thanks for putting so much effort in making the gift and I knew you started planning it one month ago

I really appreciate that 

Thank you for bringing those pizzas and flying from Bangsar to Bukit Jalil just to give me a surprise

Thanks for running here and there to get some "things" done 

Seriously,I really APPRECIATE!

Thank you, Jenn. One of my awesome and super caring friends!

Thanks for wasting your money to invite friends to join this "surprise giving event"

I know you get stressed up because you couldn't have enough time to get your tasks done

I really hope you can cure your insomnia 

Thanks for everything

Thank you, Lichin. My 7 years friend!
Never know you come here was part of the plan

Thought you really miss me and want to meet me up :p

Your "study plan" in IMU sounds real and convincing

Never expect you to come here and give me surprise too! 

And stay overnight!!!

I feel so close and warm! Sincerely...

I really hope you enjoyed too

Thank you,sweetheart!

Thank you Khai for flying from Taylor to Titiwangsa LRT Station

From Titiwangsa to Sri Petaling

It made me feel so touched and I was so shocked to see you

Thank you for sparing your time to come here

I'm glad to meet you up and know you're doing well

Thank you Zac and Teck Kok. My uni brothers!

I know it is quite awkward for you guys to join my pre-U friends and high school friend to give me surprise

I'm touched because you guys made it for me 

It is my pleasure to meet you guys even though we like to tease each other

But seriously, I appreciate you guys! 

You guys did help me quite a lot

Thanks a lot!

I would like to thank my housemate as well because he needs to bear with our noisiness 

Thank you Chia Ren

Last but not least,

I want to thank the most special friend, my only one who is far far away!

I don't know what you did behind me to arrange or plan all this

I heard from someone that you put in effort to give idea 

You are the one who know me the most 

You know what I like and you're trying so hard to give me what I like

I'm touched! Besides touching, I don't know what word I should use to express

I know something is flying to me and you are the sender

Thank you in advanced for that 

I appreciate you...really...

In a nutshell, I would like to bow 90 degree to thank all of you

To show my appreciation, I will love you guys more 

And treasure you as my super awesome friends! 

Muacxxxxxzzzzz...
The photos will be uploaded soon!

Enjoy the cam-whore session with Jenn and Lichin!
<3

*A random message to Zichina Cheah
May God help you to make you stronger 

May God help you to solve your problems 

*A random message to Puishan Tan

I hope you have a happy starting in HELP

All the best in your degree life!
<3

眼泪

时间越久，我以为我越能放得下

其实我越不能放下

走到哪里，我都仿佛能感觉你

看到你的影子

从来没有试过这一种感觉，这一种痛

躺着躺着，眼泪不知觉地流下来，弄湿了枕头

脑海里不断浮现同一个影子

其实现实一直不断在告诉我，是时候放手

没有了爱做基础，那什么都不是

既然对方那么努力地隐藏及说服自己放手

那我又何必紧捉着不放呢

因为我爱，我在乎，我不希望这样子结束

我一直不断地说服自己，做回朋友

可是还有爱，我就会期待，我真的希望会有转机

一向认为只要曾经努力去争取过

就算没有成功也没关系

至少对得起自己的心，至少努力过

这一回，我想努力的机会被剥夺了

我真的是彻底的失败了

难道是我太天真？

我的情绪很低落，因为我们再也不是我们了

一切有意义的，如今都变得没有意义了

嘴里的面条，掺杂着泪水的咸与苦

此刻的我只想找一个可靠的肩膀或者是一双耳朵

让我发泄，让我诉苦

不断的抽泣与哽咽，让我没有办法好好的进食

现在的我只能告诉自己，I'm on my own..

有很多想要跟他分享的东西，我都得往肚里吞

Let those unsaid words remain unsaid

我告诉我自己，我要自私一点，绝一点

到底要怎样我才做得到？

因为还有爱，我心软，我做不到

王俐璇，振作一点，你可以的！

First Day of Oct- Monday Blue

I woke up quite early this morning to get my PTPTN documents done

I went to have breakfast with my dad

When I was eating halfway, I recalled our fond memories

I recalled a scene where you and I were sitting in the bus 

I recalled a scene where both of us were studying in DSA room

I recalled our Tioman trip

I recalled our Singapore fried meehoon 

Then the first thought which came across my mind is

I want to tell you how much I miss you

"Bee,I miss you so badly.."

I did say it in another way

End up with a reply of "haha"

So many things have changed which I don't really wish to

I thought I have accepted the truth

However, when come to certain point, I just can't 

How much I miss you..all my thoughts..

I dare not to share and I think I'm not supposed to share

I have no one to share about all this

It is so suffering because I have to keep all to myself

Type halfway now and my vision is getting blurrer 

Heartbroken..heartache..

I'm no longer important to you

No longer..

I feel so sad when I think about this 

My time was occupied with quite a lot of stuff 

But I just can't help it when those things keep popping out

And you keep running in my mind

Nowadays, I think you can hardly spare time for me

You sounds normal but I keep feeling one kind

I don't know this is because I'm too sensitive or what

It seems that I varnish in your life

No longer care no longer important no longer love

I don't know what you feel actually

I don't know...

It seems that you won't feel lonely or empty without me

You are still okay even without me

My existence doesn't give any impact to your life anymore

I know I'm negative now 

I may regret with what I typed here in the next min

I hate the feeling of insecure 

I'm on my own..

To do everything..

I'm tired

By the way, I know some of you are very caring 

I feel it! Seriously..

I keep it in my heart

I really appreciate

To noname

Remember what I told you in the evening

Don't think so much..

New page of life

This week is going to my 4th week of degree life

Here comes October

In September, there are so many things happened in my life and your life 

Since it will be a brand new month, I hope everything will be smooth and good to you and to me

I'm here to say I'm okay

I'm coping quite well

So far so good 

The decision isn't that bad when I think about it more deeply

Guess my recovery is 80% ady

But yea.. I still cannot let go 100%

There is still <3 

Well, you can't expect me to let go 100% at once

If it does happen means my loves before are not true and sincere

Thank you to hectic degree life

It makes me cope with it better

However, the hectic life makes me feel so stressful 

I need to gain my efficiency back in order to accomplish every single task I have

I wish to be hardworking and take initiative to do what I should

Sometimes I just can't help it

The slack side of me wish to pop out and take a breath 

As the result of it, I will be super stressful because I'm running out of time

Now tonnes of i-lectures and revision are waiting for me

So many confusions that I have to clarify before the next lecture starts

If not it will end up with tonnes of question marks

Sometimes I really don't know how to revise and learn on my own

When come to self-centred learning or even with lecturers

It seems I'm on my own

No one can help me besides those books with thousands pages

Face laptop most of the time until I feel so sick of it

With my earphone on, I'm definitely not enjoying the music

But the i-lecture instead

I will try my best to get myself back to the right track

Do whatever I can so I will not regret with what I did

Thanks to the pain

I wish I can really grow stronger, more positive and more independent

One more thing..

I wish I can find a perfect study buddy

I need study buddy so badly

And at this moment, I will miss you as my study buddy

The best study buddy I ever have

Dear friends

Say goodbye to September and say Hi to October

Smile =)

Life WITHOUT you

Even if you pinch me or bite me

I can truly feel the pain 

It is the truth and the reality

It is not hallucination

I know the pain will fade and I know time will heal my wound

I thought numbness can make me feel better

I thought I keep hypnotising myself and I will feel better

The truth is a NO

I will still tear and cry

We can never go back to last time

The closest we can be

No more...

If you ask me am I still loving him?

I will just smile because it is a strong YES in my deep heart core

 Yet I cannot show it or say it

You expect me to act like nothing happen before?

No way..

Those who know me, you know how organised I am

You know my principle and character

I just have to force myself to change since everything is different now

It is no longer the same

This is the most heartbroken part in this incident

Maybe I am not strong and matured enough

I cannot be as positive as you do

I should bury myself with work and revision

I feel so heavyhearted to let you go just like that

I feel that both of us still need each other

You want me to be your close friend

Then I will need a super strong and secured lock to lock all my feelings in a HUGE box

There must be no key for the lock

If not, I will be very soft-hearted to unlock it and you will be flooded with all the loves

Can our graph be an increasing gradient curve and level off instead of a normal distribution curve?

God, you put me into this kind of situation for me to learn?

I'm suck in self-learning

Can You please help me? 

Sorry readers. This is the only way I can express myself instead of crying

This is so touching..

I hope I can own you once again..

For your information, I typed my previous blog post on last Friday

Due to something, I reverted it to draft

These few days,I suffered the worst pain I have ever experienced

I know you suffer the same pain as me

I never blame you for this

Both of us came out with such a decision

I have told you most of the thing I felt

Here..the true feeling that I'm feeling right now

I feel extremely suffering and painful

The memory and so many things pop out

I keep tearing and spilling h2o

I feel my eyes sore, slowly eyes feel warm, then the tear come out unstoppably 

The pain is like someone take a knife and slice me

I feel like calling you bee

I feel like acting cute when I reply you

I feel like telling you every single things I feel

But now, I can no longer do that

Do you know how sad I feel when I typed "bee" and I deleted it?

I have put a tap in my heart to control my feeling

There cannot be a "drop" of love drip from the tap 

Nothing is more painful that you have to separate from the one you love 

Now it is officially end

I have to remember that my status to you is "friend"

You wish I can be your best friend who can listen to you 

I can but it is super duper hard for me to do so

I feel heartache because you are alone there 

Sometimes you get homesick or you face something else

You have no one to share

I always hope I can be there for you to share anything 

Neither you nor me are wrong

No one will need to take the responsibility for this incident

You hope I will be fine 

I do likewise

I feel more heartache when you try so hard to make me feel better and more positive

But you are actually facing the same thing and you have to keep it to yourself 

I can no longer think for your side as now I can't even help myself

The feeling is terrible

As what people said, this will be over soon

Time will heal every single wounds

But at this moment, I just can't stop myself from sobbing 

The sorrow did not disappear even I have cried so hard

It never get lighten 

This situation is almost the same as the day you left me

I don't know this decision is right or wrong

I don't know what God is going to give me or take away from me next time

My mind is just in a mess

Sometimes I choose not to think, just move on

It works but only last for a while

Thank you for those who care about me

I feel you and appreciate your concerns

I will just need time

Perseverance does not work when you are not given a chance

This is so so so demoralising 

I don't have much confidence now

Last time, those people who encourage me to go ahead and hold still

Your encouragements are such a great strength for me to persevere and I never doubt it

Now all this have been ruined

Gone...

I still love you

But now I have to let go 

Close the file 

*This garden is going to be flooded*

Step Into 10

Tik tok tik tok..

Hour hand and minute hand "run" swiftly

Here come our 10th 

I will never get bored to recall every single moments we had together

This will be the 3rd month you are not with me here

Somehow there is a strong connection between you and me

I never stop believing in what I believe

It may sound crazy and ridiculous

But I never have a thought of giving up

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

Remember?

What you did and said..

It is deep within me..deep within you..

Thank you for loving me 

It seems like we are meant to be

I'm grateful to have you to accept our differences

Destiny has been set for us, to work towards

Hands in unity we will penetrate the heights

Forgiveness, mercy and love will take us through

Thank you & I love you

Te amo bee

Thank you for being our connaught night market tour guide!

We really enjoy!

Luckily you can click with them well

=)
Thank you so much! 

I'm glad to see you

To make you feel my love

If you believe in God,then you will know His arrangement is meant for you to learn

No pain no gain

He will arrange nice thing after you have gone through the bad one

It is just the matter of time

In life, we will meet different kinds of people and different kinds of problems

Undeniably, God loves me

He let me meet some awesome people in my life

Without magnifying the bad part of my life, these 19 years of life is good enough

I must be grateful enough 

Do not look at the mountain which is far away

Look at the stone in front of you

We shouldn't describe the obstacles right?

However, this can only be done when you gain your positivity back

This morning, I was down due to a small matter

My world was full of dark clouds suddenly

I felt myself so useless and did some unnecessary stuffs

I didn't think I contribute to my family 

Instead, I am increasing their burden

All kinds of sh*t flooding my brain

Sitting in front of the laptop for whole day

Did those i-lectures for my lecture preparation for these two days since I have the time today

Renovated my bloggie (credit to noname.mr.h2o )

Had a super simple dinner - cereal

Thank you Jenn for coming out for me

I really appreciate that

The feeling was so warm

To the only one

You made my day

You always put efforts just to make me happy

I was so touched until I feel like tearing

I can truly feel your love 

That kind of warm feeling,guess I didn't make you feel that before right?

Seriously, I really appreciate it 

It makes me recall many things

We are always the 1 

I'm glad and lucky to have you

I'm fortunate to be the special one for you 

Thank you bee

The Second Month & The First Week

We said goodbye to August and welcome the September

Time flies,I have started my degree-Bachelor of Pharmacy in IMU

Last week was my orientation week

I'm quite lucky to meet some awesome friends and seniors here

Friends from all over the place

Some orientation programmes were pretty boring because of those uninteresting talks and briefings

Some were nice because there was a commitment between the members of the orientation group

The best one was the station games that I joined

Basically I'm still adapting to the degree life

Classes will start from this week onwards

Guess I will be getting busier and more hectic

Just hope I can do everything smoothly

Meet awesome people

*To chin

All the best! I don't know how I should you instead

Just can give you moral support and talk to you when you need a listener

There was something happened 

Yet we are still able to cope with it

No matter how long it will take

The most important thing is not to give up

We may feel tired or frustrated

But must let it last for a while only

Thank you and sorry if you feel something

We have coped it for 2 months

Smile and move on! 

The Process

The beginning is always the toughest part 

Some people choose not to continue because they cannot bear the hardship

End up with nothing

The process may be suffering but we have to proceed in order to succeed

In our daily life,we have to go through so many different processes

We may face different difficulties during the process

For me,success will not come without any hardship and endurance 

Recently I seldom update my blog 

There are happy,upset,sweet things happened

Just that I have no inspiration and time to blog about it

Friendship and relationship

I have a few great friends who always share their happiness and sadness with me

They will let me know how they think and how they feel

We are close until we can simply tease and insult each other without feeling bad

We are close until we can share something personal and private

I am glad to have friends who can be frank to me

Tell me what they think about me in order to let me improve myself

Thank you very much 

A great appreciation and gratefulness to you 

Without you,I wouldn't have realised those problems

We do respect each other 

Let them know my stands,so do them

The main thing in maintaining friendship is concern and respect

Always be a good listener when they want me to lend them my ears

Always be a good consultant when they want me to give opinions

Always be a good mirror when they want to do self reflection

Always be a good partner when they want my companion

Vice versa

That's how friendship can be maintained

Now at this age,the friends whom we are looking for are those who can help us in our life 

The true friends

Unfortunately,it is kinda hard to get this kind of friends

Therefore,we must appreciate and be grateful once we get them

God arranges everything with His reason

I always believe in that 

To my besties, thanks for making me not lonely 

Thanks for spending your time with me when I am in need 

All the best to you in your studies and life 

I may be passive sometimes but I will always think of you

To the only one

I'm coping well as you said even the process is not easy

I hope this can last as what we planned 

But must remember force no happiness

Thank you for making my days 

Without you,I will not be as positive as I can

Thank you for helping me to solve problems when I need opinions

Thank you for thinking to lighten my burden 

You are always the source of my energy besides my family and close friends

The support you gave to me means a lot to me

We are always the one 

Two hearts beat as one 

I will always be grateful and thank God 

Thanks God for sending so many wonderful and awesome people to me 

They make my life more meaningful and wonderful 

Thank you so much!

Growing up & Take it as Challenge

I'm going to experience the next stage of life soon

In the progress of preparing myself,I realise that there are so much to learn

The attitude and mindset should be different

It is the time for me to behave like an adult

Have a mature thinking and yet not too conservative 

Actually I found that I can rarely be positive in thinking

That's why God send you to me 

In order to remind me to stay strong and be positive in life

The challenges come one after one 

It will never come to an end as life is all about learning and coping 

I hope I can cope well 

It may be very suffering and uneasy at the beginning

But I must always remind myself to endure and persevere 

I cannot be defeated that easily 

If not what is done is all wasted and become meaningless

I need to grow up 

I need to overcome the obstacles alone but with the support from those who love me

I must tell myself to be grateful 

I'm having a life which is much more better than others

Trying to communicate with my subconscious mind and hypnotise myself

Quote from my only one 

"First step is to dream

Second step is to believe

Third step is to act

Fourth step is to succeed"

I will tell myself not to give up and always believe in God

Believe in what I'm going to do 

To believe it,we must have a strong determination

Never be influenced by any negative power which lead you to failure

To take action,we must be determined too

These are the toughest part to succeed

Must always remind myself by listening to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus

I appreciate those friends who gave me some ideas and advices 

In our life,we can't meet many of friends who can point out your mistakes when you did sth wrongly

Who can put themselves in your shoes and understand your situation

When I'm down and upset,I may not accept all the things you guys told me

But after I have calmed down,I will really consider what you guys said to me

Frankly speaking,I always expect some kind of consolation from people

That usually won't happen in the real life

This only make my life seems more miserable 

My biggest weakness

I should be grateful because people still with me when I'm not in the right mood or I'm facing problems

I'm glad to have you to be with me

Those who did,you know who you are 

Thank you and sorry

Good luck to Sinyee tmr!

The Dark Night

Before the night came,I thought it would be a "bright" night

I have so many things in my head to share

Yet something ruined it

Thanks to it,my mood all gone

I can't even talk properly,can't even listen properly,can't even enjoy properly

It is so hard to seize the chance

It just went off 

At this dark night

I realise that I'm such a bitch

I always think I'm right

I don't know how to think for others

I don't know how to put myself in others' shoes

I don't know how to understand people and be considerate

I sucks

I always think I can manage I can do it

In fact,I can't

I overestimate myself 

I confused

I need some guidances 

I need some ideas

I don't know I can cope with it or not

My brain is full of question marks now

I'm doubting about my own ability

I don't know.........

A month

Loiter to Garden of Tranquility

Just drop by to update about my current life

As most of you know,I got a call from IMU two weeks ago
According to IMU,my conditional offer will be withdrawn if I still cannot confirm with them

Due to this call,I need to make up my mind earlier than what I expected 

Tomorrow I'm going to settle the first instalment and some documents to confirm my offer

Out of all this,the most troublesome and fretful one is the accommodation

Now it is kinda hard to get a room that I'm looking for

What I got is "sorry,it is rented out" 

"sorry,it is no longer available"

Due to a sudden call,many things have changed 

Due to financial problem,I need to settle so many things regarding the fees

Due to financial problem,I need to give up my dream-study in overseas 

I will pursue my study with my hard work and enthusiasm 

Last thing,the perseverance 

I'm so sorry because few days didn't touch my h3lix 

A nice outing with my gang

I still feel one kind because you are not there

Like a body without a soul

Went to the place we hung out before

It is like reminiscing our sweet time

Thank you for making the outing meaningful,my friends

We are going to face the day together-16 August

That is the day which you know where to proceed

Good luck friends and me

Good luck to those who did Cambridge A levels-13 August

Take care everyone

And the only one

I miss you so much

ILY

The Third Week

Today is the third week we persevere

You are still as busy as a BEE

But I can understand

I don't know what's wrong with me today

Just feel like crying

I feel that my heart is very heavy today

Suffer a bit from heartache

My day seems so packed and occupied 

But my mind is extremely emptied and messy

Trying hard to make myself feel better and happier

Maybe I need a rest or what

Seriously,I have no idea

I should make myself busier and occupy my time with many many things

So that I won't have time to think so much

Suddenly recalled how hard I cried that day

Now I feel there is sorrow deep within but I can't do anything
Not even crying

Seriously,NO IDEA

Maybe somebody said something and the "fire" in my heart is blew out

This "fire" does not stand for anger

But it is a spirit,determination

It is kinda demoralising

It is the time for me to wake myself up and keep the "fire" burning in my heart

It should not be extinguished by anything

I can stand firmly,I can...

I must tell myself to stay strong to face any possibilities

And now I should make myself adapt to a new life

A life of being alone 

Stand still and face every single difficulties alone 

Toughly...

And yea,I should be able to do it

Should be...

To Sinyee

Actually be a tutor is not really hard

Maybe I have no qualification to comment about anything 

But just to let you know patience is the most important

Your students are kids,so this is different from my situation

But I can truly understand your feeling

This is quite normal as we are students too

Sometimes we need to be a bit carefree

Not to say give up on the students or what

Maybe lecture will do

I don't know because my students are secondary school students

They should be able to understand what I'm saying

But we are human and we can't control what they think

That's why it is kinda hard to change their mind and attitude

Take it easy 

This will definitely be a good chance for you to grow and gain something

Smile and welcome it..=)

Day 18

At this tranquil night

My mind is quite peaceful

There are many inspirations but they are not organised

I'm not going to sort it out 

Just a simple and random post about my day and feeling will do

Today bee sat for his UMAT

Couldn't get the chance to chat with him more 

But I was able to wish him before his UMAT

Feel kinda sad for him because he couldn't manage to finish the paper and he felt quite disappointed

Anyway,you have done your best

Now you can relax 

Don't need to suffer in practising it any more

Please take good care of yourself

I miss you more tonight

One of my bestie told me this

To take the first step is always the toughest one

But when you continue in doing it,things will become much easier

The main secret of recipe is perseverance 

When you want to learn sth,for example I learn guitar

No one teach me and I have no basic at all

Keep searching for the guitar tutorial video in youtube

No one will know whether the way I put my fingers is correct or not

When I took the first step to learn,I need to bear with the pain 

Hold the pain and keep practising the chords 

The strings have to be pressed harder in order to produce perfect sounds

I found it tough and I wondered why my fingers are so retarded

At the same time,I tell myself not to give up

People can do it means I can do it as well

After some time,there are callus on the fingers

I can stand the pain and the pain is totally insignificant now

Although my basic still not strong and a simple intro of a song also I can't master

I choose to persevere in order to master it

Nothing is impossible

Despite I feel tired in persevering,there will be a power from my subconscious mind

Asking me not to give up and continue practising

I think that's what I should do for my study and relationship as well

I won't know what the result is
But I know if I never attempt to persevere,I will get nothing

Today I had a wonderful outing with Karen
Too bad Jenn cannot make it
We shopped and had an awesome lunch at Tony Roma's
Had a nice chatting session with her as well
A simple yet nice outing
I miss my college classmates
I'm glad to meet you
Thanks for painting one of the chapter of my life

Jenn & Sin yee
Good luck in your driving test
All the best and be confident

Half of A month

Yesterday was discussing about us 

I'm glad to come out with such a decision

You happy I happy

Distance is far but we can overcome it right?
It has been half of a month we continue like this

Hope our bond is strong enough to persevere

At the same time

We promised to be frank and trust each other

If the thing that we considered happens,then we promised to give ourselves a chance to start a new life and let go

Maybe at this time being,this will be the best way?

We won't know

But I will not regret with my own decision

In the process,we will need a lot of trusts,loves,understanding

distance between two hearts is not an obstacle,rather a beautiful reminder of how strong a true love can be 

Stay strong and move on!

Happy birthday to Karen

I'm so sorry because I couldn't manage to wish you at 12.00am

Have a blast 

Thanks for your concern 

I appreciate it

A friend who always motivate me when I'm slacking

Push me and encourage me when I'm lost

Thank you

Sorry to Sin Yee for the last minute cancellation

I would like to replace one if there is a chance 

Promise

Sorry to Zi Chian and Li Chin

I couldn't play my role well when you vent your depression to me

I know my reply is seriously terrible and useless

Couldn't manage to console you when you're emo and frustrated

Couldn't manage to encourage and motivate you when you're demotivated and stressful

Couldn't manage to make you smile even when you're sad and depressed 

I fail in being a good listener and friend

I seriously hope that I can give you the strength to move on

Maybe not that great but at least something that can make you feel relax for a while or relieved

I will support you from my deep heart core

Hope you can receive it and stay strong

This is just a part of life

Go with the flow

Another 30 minutes 

It will be 20th of July

Our 8th monthsary

Maybe you will feel weird as he is not here anymore

But our final decision
GO WITH THE FLOW

So now we consider together?

I don't know

Don't think so much

He will always be the one whom I will refer to when I have problems or anything to share 

He will always be the reason for me to smile

Even it is just a text message

I saw a quote

"never give up on anybody because miracles happen everyday."

Don't know whether I should believe or not but it is kinda true

Just go with the flow will do

About my h3lix

I'm practising "qing tian" by Jay Chou

At the same time I'm practising my transition

Today my fingers are naughty

My ring finger kept touching the next string 

Once I have adjusted my ring finger

My pinky pressed improperly 

I really have some problems in coordinating my limbs and fingers

That's why I have to put much more effort to play string instruments

But I won't give up easily as I believe practice makes perfect

Now my intro part sounds like an intro 

Hope I can play it more smoothly

Then come to strumming part

Life still the same

Managed to sort my photos out and made it more organised

So I spent some time in doing it 

I wish I can improve myself during this holiday before I start my degree

My brain is a bit lag 

Even a simple calculation also I will make mistake

It seems I have to put some efforts in improving myself in order to be a better person

I bought an English book which I hope I can improve my word power for better expression

Those words or preposition that we will get confused are in

But seriously I hope I can start reading English novels

I just don't understand why I don't have the interest in reading it

Partly because I always need a dictionary beside when I'm reading English novel

This is really potong stim

Friday comes again

It comes to the end of a week

Very soon we have to say goodbye to July and say Hi to August

Today should be the 12th day since you have been there

Take care

Noname 

I understand the "last minute" feeling

No worries yea

Keep the good memories and let go the bad one

It is good enough to have a chance to enjoy with them yea

And I know you may take a while to mmm

Because I understand the feeling very well

So...take time and stay strong

Your ming zhong zhu ding..what doesn't kill you make you stronger!

Cavan

So sorry because I couldn't manage to help you to get your thing done

Hope you can find a suitable one and she will feel surprised

She will like whatever you buy 

I'm sure

Sinyee

All the best in your job

I'm sure you can handle quite well

Zichian & Lichin

The busiest one

I understand how busy and stressful you are

But please take good care of yourself 

Take a rest or a deep breathe after burying yourself in the tonnes of tasks for long time

Okay

I'm sorry for being wordy and long-winded 

Good night peeps

And it is 12:00 AM now

=)

ILY

The 9th Day-170712

In one month time

I am going to get my final result

By that time,I will know where and what I will pursue

During this holiday

I just continue my teaching and I didn't look for any other part time job

Actually I don't know whether I should or not

Maybe I should work for one month from now?
But I worry after my result day
I will be busy with my uni application

So now I'm like half-hanging there

When we have nothing to do

We tend to think a lot

About anything

Life is so complicated...
Don't really like to slack like now
But those friends who are doing their degree now
Complain how busy they are how stressful they are
Kinda scary though
That's life
In the future,we will miss this kind of life

Honeybee
Get well soon okay?
Take good care of yourself

Aimless life
I don't really like it
What to do...

The First Week

Time flies

You have been there for one week time

Glad to know that you like the place

But kinda worry when you worry about future life there

I wish I'm able to make you feel secured

I don't know what we are

But even as a friend,a close friend

I just hope I can help you when you're in need

It seems the pain is getting lessen

Maybe we get used to it

What I feel is

I miss you more and more as time goes on

When I'm free

Our sweet memories keep popping out

I smile alone when I recalled those memories

At the same time

I feel sad 

I'm satisfied because I get the chance to chat with you everyday

Even the duration is so much shorter compared to last time

You're just too hard for me to let go and forget at this moment

My C cube bebe

Hope everything is alright there and take care 

Once again I want to thank those who care for me

Some of you really kind because you all received the instruction from the boss

You guys really take good care of me and make sure I'm okay

Thank you very much and I'm touched

To Pumpkin

I don't really know how to help you when you told me how busy you are

I know I'm pretty useless

I don't know how to give you motivation and support

I suck

To Noname

All the best in HELP

Let's rot together before we start our degree

To syane.ms.h2o

Please master your guitar

4th Day

The daily question

How you feel today? Is the pain lessen? 

The answer will be okay okay lu. 

I don't know

I need you and I miss you SO badly today

Heartache too

Night time I suffer

No more tearing,weeping and crying

Yet the sorrow never subside 

The society is falling sick

I never expect this kind of thing will happen to my family

My house was intruded by thief 

The thief stole a laptop,my mum's purse and hand phone,my brother's PSP

This morning I got shocked when I woke up because I saw the gate was opened after I opened the door

The lock was missing and the gate was widely opened

Something bad must be happened

When I walked to my parents' room,I noticed that the laptop in the living room was missing

I immediately woke my mum up and she realised her purse and hand phone were stolen

My mum was sleeping with the door open in the morning

This happened in the morning in between 8am to 9am!

Such a busy and terrifying morning

Luckily my room's door was closed and my guitar in my bro's room is not stolen

And fortunately we were sleeping that time

I can't imagine what will happen if we were awake that time

Guess the thief will show us his weapon and force us to give him everything that are valuable

I feel so insecure now

If I stay at home alone,I will make sure I find something to do

If not I will start thinking and feel insecure

My mum was traumatised by this incident

God gave me too many bad things recently

My mum's foot injured in May

My bro's new hand phone was robbed few weeks ago

My mum's car was knocked by someone few weeks ago

My dad's car was knocked by someone few days ago

My sis cannot do their job smoothly this few days

I lose someone important few days ago

God,if you can hear me

Please..I pray to You..please take all these bad things away

We just want an ordinary and safe life

We work so hard to get money and things that we want

Never steal never rob 

Please give us a more stable life 

Please bring some good lucks and good things to our life

Thank You

Too many things happened recently

I'm really exhausted

And I feel so helpless

Even my intimate is facing problems also I can't help her

I'm such an useless friend

I can't help people to lessen the pain

I keep making people worry about me

I can't help people to solve problems

I'm just too

Useless....

HENG LI XUAN

Please get up from the pain and start living like a man