Life WITHOUT you

Even if you pinch me or bite me

I can truly feel the pain 

It is the truth and the reality

It is not hallucination

I know the pain will fade and I know time will heal my wound

I thought numbness can make me feel better

I thought I keep hypnotising myself and I will feel better

The truth is a NO

I will still tear and cry

We can never go back to last time

The closest we can be

No more...

If you ask me am I still loving him?

I will just smile because it is a strong YES in my deep heart core

 Yet I cannot show it or say it

You expect me to act like nothing happen before?

No way..

Those who know me, you know how organised I am

You know my principle and character

I just have to force myself to change since everything is different now

It is no longer the same

This is the most heartbroken part in this incident

Maybe I am not strong and matured enough

I cannot be as positive as you do

I should bury myself with work and revision

I feel so heavyhearted to let you go just like that

I feel that both of us still need each other

You want me to be your close friend

Then I will need a super strong and secured lock to lock all my feelings in a HUGE box

There must be no key for the lock

If not, I will be very soft-hearted to unlock it and you will be flooded with all the loves

Can our graph be an increasing gradient curve and level off instead of a normal distribution curve?

God, you put me into this kind of situation for me to learn?

I'm suck in self-learning

Can You please help me? 

Sorry readers. This is the only way I can express myself instead of crying

This is so touching..