I hope I can own you once again..

For your information, I typed my previous blog post on last Friday

Due to something, I reverted it to draft

These few days,I suffered the worst pain I have ever experienced

I know you suffer the same pain as me

I never blame you for this

Both of us came out with such a decision

I have told you most of the thing I felt

Here..the true feeling that I'm feeling right now

I feel extremely suffering and painful

The memory and so many things pop out

I keep tearing and spilling h2o

I feel my eyes sore, slowly eyes feel warm, then the tear come out unstoppably 

The pain is like someone take a knife and slice me

I feel like calling you bee

I feel like acting cute when I reply you

I feel like telling you every single things I feel

But now, I can no longer do that

Do you know how sad I feel when I typed "bee" and I deleted it?

I have put a tap in my heart to control my feeling

There cannot be a "drop" of love drip from the tap 

Nothing is more painful that you have to separate from the one you love 

Now it is officially end

I have to remember that my status to you is "friend"

You wish I can be your best friend who can listen to you 

I can but it is super duper hard for me to do so

I feel heartache because you are alone there 

Sometimes you get homesick or you face something else

You have no one to share

I always hope I can be there for you to share anything 

Neither you nor me are wrong

No one will need to take the responsibility for this incident

You hope I will be fine 

I do likewise

I feel more heartache when you try so hard to make me feel better and more positive

But you are actually facing the same thing and you have to keep it to yourself 

I can no longer think for your side as now I can't even help myself

The feeling is terrible

As what people said, this will be over soon

Time will heal every single wounds

But at this moment, I just can't stop myself from sobbing 

The sorrow did not disappear even I have cried so hard

It never get lighten 

This situation is almost the same as the day you left me

I don't know this decision is right or wrong

I don't know what God is going to give me or take away from me next time

My mind is just in a mess

Sometimes I choose not to think, just move on

It works but only last for a while

Thank you for those who care about me

I feel you and appreciate your concerns

I will just need time

Perseverance does not work when you are not given a chance

This is so so so demoralising 

I don't have much confidence now

Last time, those people who encourage me to go ahead and hold still

Your encouragements are such a great strength for me to persevere and I never doubt it

Now all this have been ruined

Gone...

I still love you

But now I have to let go 

Close the file 

*This garden is going to be flooded*