Space to Think

I smiled in front of the laptop while reading Tharo's blog.
Honestly speaking, I found what she said was pretty right. Undeniably, I may be part of them. *Opps*
Everyone has the right to do and post anything they like. Just that those create a space for everyone to think and comment.
To me, social media is a platform for me to know how my friends doing, any news update, assignment and academic purposes, mutual space to share things among friends. Nowadays, I believe most of us will not take the initiative to contact our friends when we think of them out of nowhere. So here is the use of social media. However, if we did contact them, I believe most of them will have a thought in their mind "What she wants from me?" or "Sigh.. She sure has sth to ask then only she contacts me." Due to all this thoughts and worries, we may take a step back. Actually, we may just being random sometimes to concern about our friends. That's it. Most of us will take it in another way. Hence, the creation of these social medias have separated people further apart from one another.
I understand high school friends are the most precious one as we experienced the beauty of adolescences together. However, environment has changed us and this leads to the gap between us. I appreciate those who are still here with me and willing to put in the effort to keep in touch with me but not backstabbing me. Nevertheless, I still feels envious to see people hang out with a whole gang of high school friends. Due to all this, it makes me appreciate my uni friends more. I appreciate every single moment together, including those hardcore and stressful moment. They are the one who accompany me all the way during my early adulthood besides those high school buddies who are still with me currently. In this stage of my life, I tend to look further and foresee my future. I keep telling myself not to lost contact with them in the future but who will know what will happen in the future? No one knows. Therefore, live in this moment and cherish every single moment with the people around you. No one have the responsibility to walk with you for your rest of your life but family will not ditch you for sure. So, spare time to spend with your family besides having fun with buddies and friends.
Since my high school time was over, I have never been into any friendship problems. Who knows it comes back during my uni life. I involved myself into those because I care.
To whom it concerns,
I am feeling sad and loss when there are so many of them complaining about you. I listened to those grudges till I feel so fed up. Eventually, I am slightly affected by them. That's why sometimes I don't know how to face you. I understand because of what you have done to me before, you feel like compensating by being the best of you in front of me. Somehow I don't find it appropriate as it makes our friendship impure and not natural. Before what you've done to me, I can accept every single part of yourself. Now I still can do it, so why must you hide your true self? Everyone will have judgement so why must you just worry about how I judge you? You told me you care about me but I don't really feel that. At certain time I will just feel that I am not as important as you told me. Someone else seems to be the most important to you as you don't worry how she thinks about you. You can tell her every single thing. That's the pure friendship I meant.
I know you can never take critics, that's why I choose to keep everything in myself. Even if I have said it, I don't think thing will change. Everytime I observe what you do, I worry about you and think we can improve together. We need friends who can criticise you and let us know about our mistakes in order to achieve improvement, However, I can't do that to you. No one likes criticism but I believe it is a must to learn to accept it. We will definitely need it in the future. There is no such thing as "I am born this way","That's me, you can't expect me to change." all this nonsense. There is sth so called "effort". I don't expect myself to change my personality or what, but attitude and certain thing rather than personality can be changed over time if you have the will to do so. I wish you can be better so you won't have much problems in the future, like how I wish myself can be. It seems that I shouldn't think this way as all my worries and efforts may be in vain most probably.
In a nutshell, I have no idea what to do besides trying to force myself to accept all these facts. I wish you can meet someone who can tell you all this and you will be willing to accept and listen to the someone. All the best to you. This doesn't mean that I am giving up on you, on our friendship. I just need some more time to think about what I should do.