Pain

Heartache until I can't really do my work
The pain keeps on reminding me how stupid I am
How dumb I am
Really painful
Even more painful than what I experienced yesterday
I will be careful in my speech
Anger can really make people go mad and lost control
Do not simply get angry!
Compared to the pain now
My anger yesterday is extremely insignificant
I hate myself from being so dumb and let the tragedy repeat again
I wish I can disappear from the world for a while
Punish myself !
 I hate you
Heng Li Xuan !

Love Life

Life is a learning process
This few days
I learn to be tougher and stronger
Pain makes me grow
I'm holding the pain
Trying to convert it into driving force
Trust is built bit by bit
But if you wish to destroy it
You can do so by using one second
Not everyone can be trusted
Just learn to be careful when getting along with people
Always remind yourself to be careful
Just to protect yourself
When people tell you something frankly
Will you be able to take it?
Seeing you smile makes me happy
Your emo face made me heartache
Too many things happen at the same time
I should learn how to handle
Exam is around the corner
But it seems my study method is wrong
What I can do is to force myself to absorb and remember whatever I can
Keep myself motivated as long as I can
Remind myself not to slack
People keep giving me pressure
It is just meant to push me to move faster
No regrets when I put a full stop for my A Levels life
Study hard work hard
Money is very important somehow
No money,nothing  can be done
Last but not the least
Thanks for accompanying me for so long
Your love,tolerate,patience,cares
I feel it
I appreciate it
You are awesome
I may be quite bad-tempered sometimes
What I commented may not be agreed by you
Thanks for your toleration
Your support=my catalyst
ILY

Compare..

Along our journey of life
We may meet many different types of person
One thing we will always do is
C.O.M.P.A.R.E.
We tend to be more outstanding and better
Just to show people your good sides
Sometimes it is good to be low-profiled
When we tend to compare
At that moment,you will feel inferior
In another way of putting it is you will feel that you are like nobody
You are useless
Not to say we are ungrateful by not realising our strengths
But somehow you will feel that you should improve and upgrade yourself
We should not stop learning
We should know that there is pretty important for us to know more about the world,about things that happened around us
Whenever people talk about sth
I am like a dumbo who don't even know a single thing of it
I will tell myself
Life is a learning process
It may be very sarcastic when you hear someone say
"Huh? You don't know this ar? Like this also don't know ar?"
May get hurt by this but
Tell yourself
Learn and know more about it
Be more thick-faced and ask about it
I'm trying hard to do so
I don't want to be a sponge which just know how to absorb but don't know how to digest and explore
I must learn how to think
I suck in this
Such an useless fella
*Hypnotizing myself to be positive*
Dear readers
Enjoy learning and improving yourself
=)

Share..=)

My attention has been shifted to my scholarship application
So the ms.emo and ms.lonely couldn't stand
They feel sad because I ignored them and they just went away
I'm glad to feel that
I'm really useless..
Emo for nothing,feel empty and lonely for nothing
But come to think of it
Quite sad when you can't find anyone to talk to
Okay. Stop emo topic
Just to share this
* Make peace with your past
So it doesn't spoil your present
* What others think of you is
None of your business
* Time heals almost everything
Give time,some time
* No one is the reason of your happiness
Except you yourself

* Don't compare your life with others
You have no idea what their journey is all about
* Stop thinking too much
It is alright not to know all the answers
* Smile
You don't own all the problems in the world

Good luck
To me and To you

我不懂

最近的压力真的很大
大到我的“朋友”都到我的额头来探望我
不懂是不是因为压力的关系
最近的情绪很容易有波动
也有很多的感慨
有时真的很无奈
也很讨厌
应该做的东西多到我不会安排
到最后自己也慌了
甚至慌到眼泪也不知不觉的掉了
但此时此刻的我
必须自个儿面对这一切
尽管心里多想有人可以让我靠一靠
可以跟我分担
因为害怕失去
现在的我变得很胆小，很懦弱
我不喜欢这样
他人现在正在主宰我的生命
我不是应该自己驾驭自己的情绪的吗?
最近真的常常想太多
做很多多余的东西
让自己觉得难过
是不是时间长了
人与人之间的感情就会淡掉?
难道这是一个必经的过程吗?
我不是已经学会不要把琐碎事情看得太重吗?
结果呢?
我也不懂~

Over..

I shouldn't have thought too much
Sometimes God arranges the incident in your life
Just mean to make you to be tougher
Somehow I do get hurt
But I will tell myself
It is over
It was a small matter only
I care so much for what?
I expect for what?
Do what I should do
I never forget about this
I'm clear what I should and what I shouldn't do
Am I exceeding the limit?
I don't know
Maybe I did
Over the limit
This makes myself suffered
Since I thought there will always be a hand to hold me or pull me
But no matter what happen
I have to face on my own eventually
I should stop myself from thinking
Only at here
I can feel peaceful
Do and type whatever I want without considering others' feeling
Why we care but others don't care?
What's the point?
I wonder

Fruitless

It is kinda depressing to realise that you work for 100%
Your hard work doesn't pay off
Then why must we struggle to do that?
Well,that's life,isn't it?

Sometimes we just have no choice
In study,relationship between couples,friends,family
We just can't get what we want or eager for
People get demotivated after undergoing all that
Really feel tired when I look at all those
All mess up
But what to do?
Life still goes on and I have to move on
Just settled my IMU application last Saturday
Just settled my NTU application few hours ago
But I haven't paid for the application fee and submit the supporting documents for NTU application
Get fed up when I do application
Sigh~why life so hard?

Just handed in my drop form today
Look at the papers that I suppose to retake
Oh Gosh~ 11 papers again~
In less than 9 weeks time
I'm going to denature like what enzyme did as I'm subjected to extreme condition
All the sickness please go away from me
I have no time to sick
I apologize as I don't really have the mood to talk recently
I don't have the mood to take initiative to chat
But my friends,I still concern about you guys
Always...
I'm so sorry
Tend to think too much recently
What's wrong with me ar?
Another big wave is coming to attack me soon
Guess what? I feel it is too fast
I am aware of being attacked by the big wave
How I wish the ocean is peaceful
No big wave like tsunami
But then again
FRUITLESS
There is no point for me to look at the same ocean
Even after the wave has gone
How sad I feel
Since I wish I can
In the nutshell
Enjoy the moments which my eyes still can see the ocean
This wonderful ocean
Switch off the alarm or reminder temporarily
Now the main focus should be the beach or other thing else
Hold the pain and move on
I am a strong girl in most of the people's eyes
Maybe I should keep this image
Stay strong!