A summary of the earlier half of 2014

I started the most hectic semester in the beginning of 2014 and I managed to survive afterall.
It is indeed a very tough semester though I had fun throughout the semester.
Since the semester marks the end of my year 2 uni life, I shall grab the chance to enjoy my uni life more.
I had the most suffering study break and exam ever as there were too many topics to be covered and we were put into zombiefied mode.
Determination, willpower, perseverance, health and mental strength seem to be the "topics" to be tested. If you fail to have all this, most probably you are going to fail the exam.
Anyway, it is so regretful for not working hard enough and scoring well in the exam. I was kinda stunned to see my result as it made me feel that my effort is all in vain. I allowed myself to be emo for one day, after that I shall just move on with the thought that I will work harder next semester.
I will start my year 3 of my degree in next week. Seniors claimed it as honeymoon semester but let's see whether this is true or not.

After talking about study, I want to shift the attention to friends. On the CNY eve, my bestie - Pui Shan ditched the other two musketeers and flew to Australia. Few days before she left, we managed to meet up with high school mates! That was a great gathering as well as farewell party. I like the feeling of gathering. We may change, we may see thing differently, but those who are still care about the friendship will still be connected no matter how. That's why when we are growing, we don't bother to have a big bunch of friends but we only pray to have a few of true friends. So if you have now, you better be grateful and appreciate them.
"I do not drop you a call or message doesn't mean I don't miss you, my old friends."

Come back to my SNGD 3.0 Langkawi Trip. That day I happened to mention about blog, Ling reminded me that I suppose to blog after each Trip. So I actually left out SNGD 2.0 Penang Trip.
Please allow me to be lazy and let photos speak.
Even though SNGD 2.0 Penang Trip happened in 2013, but just to fulfil what I've promised. :)

Now, let's see SNGD 3.0 Langkawi Trip!

Another big thing happened in March is :

"Syane Heng Li Xuan is in a relationship with Voon Khai Tching."

 "B, I wish to be present in your future."

Positive Energy Needed

Just the 6th day of 2014 and I have been receiving don't know how many watt of negative power.
Guess I like to be tortured or sth. Why am I worrying about all this thing?
Why am I the one who is being bothered by all this shit?
I thought I have made my stand clear for N times.
What should I do to make you understand this? How many times you want to torture me?
I can just block you but I didn't want to make thing this way. When I am being kind to you, I am actually being cruel to myself and doing self-torturing.

It's really tiring to guess what a person thinks. I seriously don't know what you want.
I doubt your sincerity.
Please don't take me from granted. I can't afford to fall as I am traumatised.
The step that I am going to take will decide how thing goes. Think twice.

By comparing people's problem, I feel what I am facing now is just a very small matter.
I need to replenish my positive sources. Where can I get my positive power?

Finish venting. Thank you.

Goodbye 2013 Hi 2014

Step into a new year and this actually indicates that I should have grown older and more mature.
Guess it's because I seldom blog and read, that's why I am having difficulty in phrasing my words and ideas.
Reminiscing the good time in 2013. I will never forget how crazy I studied for my final exam for semester 3.
In a blink of eye, many things have changed. Just now I went through those old photos since form 5 till now.
I can see the wrinkles of my parents are getting more and visible, my brother grew taller, my high school friends are busy with their own studies and circles and they are getting prettier, my pre-u friends further their studies to overseas and my uni friends are still working hard to achieve their dreams..
Did I change? I think I did.. I have a lot of thoughts right now but I have no idea how to put them into words.
About family, I am satisfied with the current situation. I am always grateful to have them with me as they will always support me all the time without failing. No matter how tired I feel, I always can feel the warmth and don't mind to spend time together with them. Even though there were arguments and I was really frustrated, love will always take all this away and give me a happy family back.
About high school friends, they are all in the different stage of life. Many of us are in our degree year and some may work? I am not too sure about it. It's kinda ironic to recall those messages last time by saying "keep in touch" but less than 10 people do in real life. Undeniably, I am not a good friend who will take initiative to contact my old friends. As we grow, we tend to develop different kind of personalities and as I said, people do change. Maybe the friend whom I used to know is no longer the same. He/she is just having a status of "friend" for me and I don't seem to know he/she well. Stranger feeling and I do feel awkward by imagining us together for a tea session.
Anyway, not all friends give me this feeling though. Hope you don't have hard feeling about this. There are still some friends whom I worship. I don't think there is a need for me to name them here.
I understand the fact that not everyone can accept my shortcomings or ignore those flaws. Despite the development of technology, the distance between human doesn't seem to be shortened by that.
About pre-u friends, the one I want to mention here is Mr.CG. I do hope you can get over all this and let me go as soon as possible. Sometimes I do get annoyed by you but as a friend, I really hope you can get new friends and adapt to the life there in Australia. Wish you can live happily.
About uni friends, as time goes, we get to see true colours of each other. It's kinda normal.
If you cannot accept me of being like this, the only way is to ignore. You can choose not to talk so much with me or not at all. I won't mind as I know force no happiness. If we can really click, all this won't happen.
So it's okay as I will do the same. If we can't click, there is no point of squeezing brain juice and trying hard to find mutual topic. You won't even feel something of losing me as close friend.
As I enter different stage of life, the way I see thing also getting a bit different. Most of the time I still tend to think a lot but I do try to behave or act more maturely.
Guess we should meet up some time to see how each other have changed.
If a friend can accept your changes, he/she is worth to keep. :)
About love, it may not be smooth and it may take long time to come. It is still a good thing to stay S&A.

I hope it is not too late to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to those who read this blog post. Wish you have a joyful year. All the best in your life and may all your sweet dreams come true. Cheer!

Growth

It has been a while I ditched my little garden.
Time flies and I am currently in week 6 of my third semester.
Third semester should be a super hectic semester as the time table is crazily packed and there are many modules we need to cover.
Surprisingly, I am more slacked than the previous two semesters. This shouldn't be that way and I know it.
Now I am trying hard to pull myself back on track and control my playfulness.
I keep reminding myself about my target so that I will be motivated and feel determined to continue my journey. Just need to be more hardcore and I may be able to reach what I wish to.
As time passes, I get to understand people around me more.
Slowly I can see different sides of them. Some sides may not be what I have expected but acceptance is what I have to learn.
It seems many incidents happened recently and I feel a bit sick to face and handle it.
Well, I don't have much choices as the inner feeling started to take over me. I think I have the responsibility to get it done and fix it. The outcome will never be desirable.
I understand because I can't please everyone. Those who understand me will know my intention.
I shall spend more time on what I should or what I've ignored.
I shall pack those rubbish feelings and start working harder.
"Maturity is not when we start speaking big things. It is when we start understanding small things."

A New Chapter of Life - "Shaddap and Go Dai"

On 18 February, I started my second semester.

During my semester 2, I met a bunch of awesome friends - "Shaddap and Go Dai".

It's my pleasure to know all of you. This is the largest gang I ever have.
Fate arranged by God is amazing. I didn't expect us to be close like now.
We met because we all volunteered to be orientation officers (OO).
We get closer because of the dinner at Murni Bukit Jalil after OO meeting.
We get closer and closer because of all the birthday celebrations for our beloved friends.

Edrea's advanced birthday celebration at TGIF, The Garden on 26 April 2013

Kim Eik Boss's advanced birthday celebration at Kampai, Sri Petaling on 29 April 2013

Charlene's advanced birthday celebration at Baskin Robbin, Sri Petaling on 8 May 2013

Travis's advanced birthday celebration at Feng Lai, The Garden on 17 May 2013. 

(Forgot to take group photo)

Jenn's advanced birthday celebration at Get Together Cafe, Sri Petaling on 21 May 2013.

On 10 June, I completed my end-of-semester exam for semester 2. 

I was hoping all my hard work can pay off.

Anyway, result was released on 21 June.

Somehow I think I can do better than this. Anyway, I should be grateful so I will just accept this and work harder next time. =)

I'm going to start my semester 3 soon. Hwaiting buddies!

On 12 to 16 June, I had a wonderful Tioman trip with you.
Some of you may realise I have been to Tioman Island with my pre-u gang.
Yes, I went there once again with uni gang. It is a totally different experience with two bunches of friends with different kind of awesomeness. =)
 I hope we can maintain our friendship and have many many more sweet memories together! Here is the super duper nice group photo! *perasan*

First group photo taken at Berjaya Resort after canoeing on 14 June 2013.

(Nicole, Xiang Yin, Charlene, Mei Kei, Travis, Me, Shun Ern, Jenn, Khai Tching, Frozone, Hui Ling, Teck Kok, Kim Eik & Janice)

Second group photo taken at Paya Beach Resort after snorkelling on 15 June 2013.

( Jenn, Travis, Charlene, Me, Teck Kok, Xiang Yin, Nicole, Shun Ern, Hui Ling, Khai Tching, Frozone & Mei Kei )

Third group photo taken at Paya Beach Resort while waiting for ferry on 16 June 2013.

( Khai Tching, Travis, Kim Eik, Nicole, Janice, Charlene, Mei Kei, Hui Ling, Me, Jenn., Shun Ern, Teck Kok, Frozone & Xiang Yin )

Itinerary of my Tioman trip..
12 June 2013
1230 - Bus from Terminal Bus Selatan (TBS) to Mersing, Johor (Duration : 5.5 hours)
**Ern ern departed from Masai, Johor to meet us at Mersing, Johor. Pity him as he waited for us for one hour. =P
1810 - Check in to Blue Water Budget Hotel.
**After bathing, we went for dinner.
2200 - Second round - supper at mamak! Went to the nearby jetty and chit chat + photograph session. =)
2330 - So called Girl's talk with three guys and five girls in my room until 0230.
**Being complained in the next morning as we were too noisy. Opps.. But "noisy" is our symbol! Can't help it and sorry. =p

13 June 2013
0920 - Waiting for ferry at the waiting area.
1100 - Boarding.
**Most of us were sitting at the back of the jetty, enjoying the wind and sunlight. Nevertheless, it was kinda tiring as we have to stand for 1.5 hours.
1230 - Check in to Paya Beach Resort.
**After leaving our luggages, we went and had lunch. There was sth happened in between and luckily we met a nice manager and get it done.
1600 - Went to the beach and learnt how to float! Thanks to Charlene! Hahaha.. If you are there, you can see us floating like dead bodies on the sea. *choi!!!* *touch wood*
**We were planning what games to play at night in the hotel. Thanks to our game master, Mei Kei. =)
2000 - Dinner. We went and bought "tools" needed for games.
**Went to book the time for snorkelling. Uncle arranged our snorkelling trip on Saturday. As half of our gang don't know how to swim, so he decided to train us on the next day at 1630.
2300 - Game time! Those who watch Running man will know how the game is with Rocky. XD
**Amazing experience. Surprisingly everyone is so open minded. There were some epic scenes in my phone which remain unrevealed. Spent 1.5 hours in playing this. =)
14 June 2013
1030 - Enjoy the fish at jetty and had photograph session.

1100 - Brunch!
**highlight - those who are scared of CATSSSS!! (Esp Frozone, Janice & Charlene)
1220 - We rented sea taxi to Berjaya Resort. We went there with speed boat and it was a great experience. One word - SYOK!!! Initially we planned to cycle there, end up with canoe. Well, it was not so tiring as we took turn to canoe. I have chosen the best photo to upload here. Here's the victory!

**Before canoeing, we had photograph session. Best collections :

**Highlight of canoeing - Our VP, TAY SHUN ERN just sat there but not CANOEING. Pity Mei Kei as she had to canoe for his part. Yet, our VP still showed his tired face.
**Highlight of canoeing - One bottle of 1.5 L mineral water costs RM10!!!! (Lintah darat!)

1530 - We took sea taxi back to Paya Beach Resort. Changed into swimming suits for the snorkelling training. Kim Eik and Janice didn't join.
1630 - Snorkelling training. We learnt how to use the snorkel equipments such as mask, snorkel and fins. Everyone look like alien with the mask and snorkel on. Everyone walk like a penguin with the fins on. Thank you uncle for the guidance. We are ready to snorkel!
**We slacked at night as we need to wake up early on the next day.
15 June 2013
0900 - We gathered at jetty and we took speed boat to our first spot of snorkelling. For those who experienced snorkelling before, you may feel it is nothing special but I felt quite excited! Our gang was split into two as a speed boat cannot fit all of us. Our first spot is known as White Sand Beach. It was astonishing! A spectacular scenery! The sand is really white and the sea is really clear. We snorkelled in pair and my partner is Frozon-neh. XD
It is funny to see our cool VP's face. HAHAHA!!! The hero on land but not in water.
I forgot what's the name of the second spot. This time we got down in the middle of the sea instead of the sea shore. Get our fins on and jump from the boat. It is amazing to see those colourful fish and coral. AWESOME!!
1200 - We had our lunch at Salang Beach. It was super duper hot! I was stupid as I didn't bring sunblock along. Sunblock that we applied this morning was gone. We should bring one extra sunblock so that we can apply again. STUPID ME.
**Khai Tching was bothered by a black cat which kept calling him for food!
1300 - Our fourth spot of snorkelling is Marine Park. It was quite wavy that day. I was lucky to have many fish around me as there was a tourist beside me who was feeding the fish. Get to touch those fish together with Frozon-neh! My friends, Mei Kei, Xiang Yin and Travis get the chance to dive with uncle and touch the bottom of the sea! I dare not to try as I am a bit fail in regulating my breath and body. Well, nice try and you guys are brave!
1430 - Last spot of snorkelling is Renggis Island. The boat stopped right in the middle of the sea. Soooooo DEEP! I was lucky to see SHARK!! Out of 12 of us, there were only 4 of us able to see the shark. Frozon-neh get the chance to see the shark because of me as I called him and pointed the shark to him. Thanks me thanks me. XD
1500 - Reached Paya Beach Resort and here come to an end of our snorkelling trip. Had a group photo together with the uncle. Thank you so much!

**Highlight of snorkelling - We all became CHAO DAH! All became OH OH! (became tanner and some got sunburn)

**Highlight of snorkelling - Get to feel the beauty of habitat of aquatic organisms. Get the chance to drink a lot of salty sea water. Yuck! Dehydrated....
1630 - Went to have Ice kacang to replenish our energy.
1730 - Nap nap nap!
1945 - Dinner time!
2130 - We went to the duty free shop to buy T-shirts so we have the same T-shirt! Many of them asked me why I am wearing black T-shirt but the rest of them wear white T-shirt. This is because we need 6 M size white T-shirts. They only have 5 M size white T-shirt. So I was forced to take one M size black T-shirt. About Jenn, she insisted that she wanted black T-shirt. So both of us are the odd one among the gang. Well, it doesn't matter since I can't choose.
2300 - Alcohol time. Kim Eik brought poker cards and we played game with the poker cards. Those who lose have to drink one gulp of whisky (Black label + coke/sprite in the proportion of 1:9). The effect of alcohol : hyper, talk loudly, laugh loudly, do some stupid stuff! Thanks to Frozone, we get to see someone get drunk. Hahahaha.. Well, don't be shy! A new side of you has been discovered! Here is the 38!
It was such a coincident!

**Highlight of alcohol night - 2 superheroes got drunk.

**Highlight of alcohol night - Sth happened and it dragged our sleeping time to 0330. 

16 June 2013

0700 - I was the earliest one. My job is to wake the others up after I get myself done. We have decided to wear the shirts we bought yesterday.

**Hui Ling is the one who wanted to be the first one to wake up. However, she asked me to go first as she wanted to sleep for a while more. Iiiishhh.. XD

1000 - Check out and had breakfast. Our ferry will be arriving at 1400. So we have a lot of time to spend and loiter. 

1100 - Some of them were playing frisbee. Some of them were playing the swing. Some of them went to the waterfall. Some of them went and walked around. We asked one of the tourists there to help us to take a group photo. Then I was busy taking photo with others. SELCA! 

1400 - Boarding and everyone slept like a pig in the ferry. 

**Highlight in the ferry - Hui Ling coughed and everyone woke up because of that! SOOOO FUNNY!!!

1630 - KFC as early dinner at Mersing. 

1730 - We said Bye Bye to our beloved Ern ern as he went back to his hometown straight after that. Bus from Mersing to TBS, Cheras. Thank you Frozon-neh for sitting beside me so that I won't die of boredom. We chatted for 4.5 hours surprisingly! Get to know you more. =P

Pity Teck Kok and Hui Ling as the passenger in front of them asked them to be silent. Can see Teck Kok was pekcek (pissed off) !

2250 - Reached TBS. SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE AND WE WILL MEET IN SEM 3!

**Everyone suffered from post-trip syndrome. Super duper miss the moment together as we make noise together. I love you guys!

My cute friends.. Thank you for being here..

This is my lingling from PD.

I like her character because the way she thinks is very simple. 

One means one. For her, "Why must you all make it so complicated?"
Her quotes - "I am hungry. What to eat later?" "Where got?" "I want to shit!"
And many many more. 

I like her cheerful character as I won't feel stress when I am with her.
I feel very comfortable. 

This is Jenn from KL. 

I knew her since A-levels. She is one of the pure banana in our gang.
I bet her Mandarin improved a lot because of us!
Even though she is quite quiet in our gang but she is one of the main "supplier" of horny talk!

Opps.. :p

This is ernern from Masai, Johor.

First impression : A super hyperactive person who can run around in the audi.

I thought he is playful but he can also be very serious. 

He is a responsible person that's why he can be upgraded to be our VP! 

He is good in study. 

He is one of my bro who can always let me shoot and shoot me back.

A sampat bro with his own temper and character.
Glad to have you as VP as you are a good helper and listener too. :)

This is Kim eik aka Si Kemek from Puchong, KL.
Initially, I thought he is a quiet person but after getting along for some time, he is 38 too!
Bullshit master number 2!
He is a good friend as he cares about his friends.
He is alert enough to feel the weird atmosphere if there is sth wrong.

This is Frozon-neh from Penang.
The maid in the gang. He is always being bullied by the elders in the gang.
I can see he enjoys doing all that huh..
A funny and childish person. The hero in the water!
A person who is good at sports which involved legs but not hands. Damn funny!
Since the unexpected talk in the bus, I discovered different side of him. More to come huh?

This is Xiang Yin from Penang.
One of the smartie in the gang! Our boss who is super duper strong!
Her 10% force is large enough to let you fly away!!
Hahaha.. Pity those who kena punch by her. Straight away bibubibu.. (ambulance!)
Don't be tricked by her size. Hahahaha.. You will never want to try that.
She is very nice actually. Haha.. One more thing, the main "supplier" of horny talk!

This is Teck Kok from Nilai or Tapah.
He is proud of his height as he thinks God is fair. Those who are good looking may not have the ideal height!
So p-e-r-a-s-a-n..
Undeniably, he has a very nice voice and he is our portable karaoke!
He has very good social skills so he is being elected as the PR of our gang.
Don't forget to apply a layer of honey on your tongue every morning yea!

This is Nicole from Cheras, KL.
A super nice and friendly girl.
You will feel super comfy and good to own someone who is so sweet!
She is good in taking care of people too!
Glad to have you sweetheart!

This is Khai Tching from Ipoh, Perak.
The tallest guy in our gang! He is a very shy guy.
But when he jokes, he shows a super serious face! Damn pro!
He is a kind guy as he is quite cincai (in a good sense) and he is not calculative.
One more thing, Yoona is his wife! XD

This is Mei Kei from Cheras, KL.
One of the smarties in the gang.
I was impressed by her because of her gwiyomi! Hahaha..
She is very pro in planning games as she has a lot of fun experiences.

Travis from PJS and Charlene from Desa Petaling, KL.
Travis is the famous actor in our gang as he likes to act.
His acting skills really pro! Mou dak deng!
Charlene, the cute girl in the gang. She is sweet too!

After blogging for so long, I start missing my high school gang and my pre-u gang. So I planned to arrange a yumcha session with my high school gang and badminton session with my pre-u gang. Hope I will be able to make it! 

A nice catchup with Puishan on 22 June 2013.

I love you, my beloved friends. Of course I won't forget my beloved family! :D
Take good care of your health as the haze is getting worse. 

Enjoy your day. <3

Just Persevere..

There may not be anyone out there to read but I really find no way to vent.
I really need a break. I want to overcome this so desperately.
I need shoulders. I need ears. I need hug. I need someone out there to reach me.
In short, S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G & S-T-R-E-S-S!
Keep telling myself don't give up and don't procrastinate, or else I will regret.
Now I am worried & I really want to get it done perfectly.
At least no regret.
I can smell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R!

Fully-charged Battery*Motivation*Aim*Hard work*Determination

Nowadays, human always race with time. During the race, we tend to focus on our goals that we are trying to realise. However, we ignore the beautiful scenery along the journey. Until we reach the destination, the satisfaction is not as great as we expected and imagined. Life is miserable at some time but when we know how to look at it at different angles, everything changes. 

Undeniably, many things have changed as we grow up. We will realise that things are not the same as what we used to have last time. Sometimes when we think and reminisce, it is kind of heartache because we know we can never go back to that time. No matter what we think and do, the time frame has changed from present to past. Memory is good but we can never go back and live in our memory. We always say "I miss the old time! I wish I can go back! " We miss it because of the person or something else? I have no idea. We are forced to move on and live in the present moment. 

I have experienced a lot of transitions in these few years. From Mandarin to English, from dependent to independent, from single to owned back to single, from a bunch of friends to few close friends, from spoon-feeding to self-study, from banana friends to friends come from everywhere and etc. I guess these help me in growing and changing me to a different lixuan. I don't know whether it is a good change or what. One thing I believe is no matter how I change, my family and friends who can understand me will accept my changes openly. Social circles may be getting smaller and smaller but I think attitude is the one that matters. You may not agree with my attitude and I would like to hear any comments from your side. If the comments are good for me, I don't mind taking it and bear in my mind. Don't ever judge a book by its cover. You will never know what the person is experiencing until you are being put in the same situation. In short, we must learn to be more considerate and understanding. Sometimes, we can't do anything as things may be inevitable. 

As what I have stated in the title of this blog post, I need to equip myself with all that as my final exam is in exactly two weeks time. I will try my best to replenish those elements needed to ensure that there is no regret. Try to bear for another 3 weeks and holiday will come to me. Looking forward to those outings that I owe my friends and my trip with uni mates. The quantity of friends are not as important as the quality of friends. Same goes to date, we don't need grand place or other "decorations" but we just need the quality time with our beloved friends and family. Good luck to everyone of you. =)