A summary of the earlier half of 2014

I started the most hectic semester in the beginning of 2014 and I managed to survive afterall.
It is indeed a very tough semester though I had fun throughout the semester.
Since the semester marks the end of my year 2 uni life, I shall grab the chance to enjoy my uni life more.
I had the most suffering study break and exam ever as there were too many topics to be covered and we were put into zombiefied mode.
Determination, willpower, perseverance, health and mental strength seem to be the "topics" to be tested. If you fail to have all this, most probably you are going to fail the exam.
Anyway, it is so regretful for not working hard enough and scoring well in the exam. I was kinda stunned to see my result as it made me feel that my effort is all in vain. I allowed myself to be emo for one day, after that I shall just move on with the thought that I will work harder next semester.
I will start my year 3 of my degree in next week. Seniors claimed it as honeymoon semester but let's see whether this is true or not.

After talking about study, I want to shift the attention to friends. On the CNY eve, my bestie - Pui Shan ditched the other two musketeers and flew to Australia. Few days before she left, we managed to meet up with high school mates! That was a great gathering as well as farewell party. I like the feeling of gathering. We may change, we may see thing differently, but those who are still care about the friendship will still be connected no matter how. That's why when we are growing, we don't bother to have a big bunch of friends but we only pray to have a few of true friends. So if you have now, you better be grateful and appreciate them.
"I do not drop you a call or message doesn't mean I don't miss you, my old friends."

Come back to my SNGD 3.0 Langkawi Trip. That day I happened to mention about blog, Ling reminded me that I suppose to blog after each Trip. So I actually left out SNGD 2.0 Penang Trip.
Please allow me to be lazy and let photos speak.
Even though SNGD 2.0 Penang Trip happened in 2013, but just to fulfil what I've promised. :)

Now, let's see SNGD 3.0 Langkawi Trip!

Another big thing happened in March is :

"Syane Heng Li Xuan is in a relationship with Voon Khai Tching."

 "B, I wish to be present in your future."

Positive Energy Needed

Just the 6th day of 2014 and I have been receiving don't know how many watt of negative power.
Guess I like to be tortured or sth. Why am I worrying about all this thing?
Why am I the one who is being bothered by all this shit?
I thought I have made my stand clear for N times.
What should I do to make you understand this? How many times you want to torture me?
I can just block you but I didn't want to make thing this way. When I am being kind to you, I am actually being cruel to myself and doing self-torturing.

It's really tiring to guess what a person thinks. I seriously don't know what you want.
I doubt your sincerity.
Please don't take me from granted. I can't afford to fall as I am traumatised.
The step that I am going to take will decide how thing goes. Think twice.

By comparing people's problem, I feel what I am facing now is just a very small matter.
I need to replenish my positive sources. Where can I get my positive power?

Finish venting. Thank you.

Goodbye 2013 Hi 2014

Step into a new year and this actually indicates that I should have grown older and more mature.
Guess it's because I seldom blog and read, that's why I am having difficulty in phrasing my words and ideas.
Reminiscing the good time in 2013. I will never forget how crazy I studied for my final exam for semester 3.
In a blink of eye, many things have changed. Just now I went through those old photos since form 5 till now.
I can see the wrinkles of my parents are getting more and visible, my brother grew taller, my high school friends are busy with their own studies and circles and they are getting prettier, my pre-u friends further their studies to overseas and my uni friends are still working hard to achieve their dreams..
Did I change? I think I did.. I have a lot of thoughts right now but I have no idea how to put them into words.
About family, I am satisfied with the current situation. I am always grateful to have them with me as they will always support me all the time without failing. No matter how tired I feel, I always can feel the warmth and don't mind to spend time together with them. Even though there were arguments and I was really frustrated, love will always take all this away and give me a happy family back.
About high school friends, they are all in the different stage of life. Many of us are in our degree year and some may work? I am not too sure about it. It's kinda ironic to recall those messages last time by saying "keep in touch" but less than 10 people do in real life. Undeniably, I am not a good friend who will take initiative to contact my old friends. As we grow, we tend to develop different kind of personalities and as I said, people do change. Maybe the friend whom I used to know is no longer the same. He/she is just having a status of "friend" for me and I don't seem to know he/she well. Stranger feeling and I do feel awkward by imagining us together for a tea session.
Anyway, not all friends give me this feeling though. Hope you don't have hard feeling about this. There are still some friends whom I worship. I don't think there is a need for me to name them here.
I understand the fact that not everyone can accept my shortcomings or ignore those flaws. Despite the development of technology, the distance between human doesn't seem to be shortened by that.
About pre-u friends, the one I want to mention here is Mr.CG. I do hope you can get over all this and let me go as soon as possible. Sometimes I do get annoyed by you but as a friend, I really hope you can get new friends and adapt to the life there in Australia. Wish you can live happily.
About uni friends, as time goes, we get to see true colours of each other. It's kinda normal.
If you cannot accept me of being like this, the only way is to ignore. You can choose not to talk so much with me or not at all. I won't mind as I know force no happiness. If we can really click, all this won't happen.
So it's okay as I will do the same. If we can't click, there is no point of squeezing brain juice and trying hard to find mutual topic. You won't even feel something of losing me as close friend.
As I enter different stage of life, the way I see thing also getting a bit different. Most of the time I still tend to think a lot but I do try to behave or act more maturely.
Guess we should meet up some time to see how each other have changed.
If a friend can accept your changes, he/she is worth to keep. :)
About love, it may not be smooth and it may take long time to come. It is still a good thing to stay S&A.

I hope it is not too late to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to those who read this blog post. Wish you have a joyful year. All the best in your life and may all your sweet dreams come true. Cheer!

Growth

It has been a while I ditched my little garden.
Time flies and I am currently in week 6 of my third semester.
Third semester should be a super hectic semester as the time table is crazily packed and there are many modules we need to cover.
Surprisingly, I am more slacked than the previous two semesters. This shouldn't be that way and I know it.
Now I am trying hard to pull myself back on track and control my playfulness.
I keep reminding myself about my target so that I will be motivated and feel determined to continue my journey. Just need to be more hardcore and I may be able to reach what I wish to.
As time passes, I get to understand people around me more.
Slowly I can see different sides of them. Some sides may not be what I have expected but acceptance is what I have to learn.
It seems many incidents happened recently and I feel a bit sick to face and handle it.
Well, I don't have much choices as the inner feeling started to take over me. I think I have the responsibility to get it done and fix it. The outcome will never be desirable.
I understand because I can't please everyone. Those who understand me will know my intention.
I shall spend more time on what I should or what I've ignored.
I shall pack those rubbish feelings and start working harder.
"Maturity is not when we start speaking big things. It is when we start understanding small things."