First Day of Oct- Monday Blue

I woke up quite early this morning to get my PTPTN documents done

I went to have breakfast with my dad

When I was eating halfway, I recalled our fond memories

I recalled a scene where you and I were sitting in the bus 

I recalled a scene where both of us were studying in DSA room

I recalled our Tioman trip

I recalled our Singapore fried meehoon 

Then the first thought which came across my mind is

I want to tell you how much I miss you

"Bee,I miss you so badly.."

I did say it in another way

End up with a reply of "haha"

So many things have changed which I don't really wish to

I thought I have accepted the truth

However, when come to certain point, I just can't 

How much I miss you..all my thoughts..

I dare not to share and I think I'm not supposed to share

I have no one to share about all this

It is so suffering because I have to keep all to myself

Type halfway now and my vision is getting blurrer 

Heartbroken..heartache..

I'm no longer important to you

No longer..

I feel so sad when I think about this 

My time was occupied with quite a lot of stuff 

But I just can't help it when those things keep popping out

And you keep running in my mind

Nowadays, I think you can hardly spare time for me

You sounds normal but I keep feeling one kind

I don't know this is because I'm too sensitive or what

It seems that I varnish in your life

No longer care no longer important no longer love

I don't know what you feel actually

I don't know...

It seems that you won't feel lonely or empty without me

You are still okay even without me

My existence doesn't give any impact to your life anymore

I know I'm negative now 

I may regret with what I typed here in the next min

I hate the feeling of insecure 

I'm on my own..

To do everything..

I'm tired

By the way, I know some of you are very caring 

I feel it! Seriously..

I keep it in my heart

I really appreciate

To noname

Remember what I told you in the evening

Don't think so much..