An endless night 1

Actually I don't mean to tear
But I just can't control
I wish I can just cry and everything will be fine
But that is not possible
If I really think that way then I'm just too naive
When you asked me what I want
Seriously I don't know
I have to consider about your situation
I cannot be so selfish
I wish to continue but what you consider is not wrong
God gave me such a great challenge
Mean I must learn to overcome it
How nice if you are with me
At least I'm not alone
And you're not alone
Distance further,bond length longer,bond strength weaker with time
This should be the mindset now?
Can I ?

Don't tell me to find a better one now
My heart is closed now
Give me some time
This is not puppy love for me
This is my first love
Which is the most memorable one
I don't know what will happen in the future
But now
I know it is pain
Count down
20 hours
Bee...
I can't afford to lose you
But I will try my best to let you go
Bon voyage

Sometimes when we touch

You always on my mind
I'm happy because you were surprised by my surprises
I'm glad that you like the presents
It is worthy for me to spend time going there just to get the hard case
Luckily I managed to get a hard case which Helix 1 can sleep nicely
And you can put so many other accessories inside
Worth it worth it
Another surprise
Our first couple thing
I really worried that you won't like the design
Because it is so different from what you have it now
Luckily you said you like it so much
And I can really see the happiness from your cute face
My excitement rises from the deep heart core
Don't need to feel what and keep asking about the price

It is for you so is doesn't matter
Just want to do something for my beloved bee
That's all
I didn't think that much
Really worth it to do all this for you
Our first guitar session since I got H3lix
I know I'm a bit dumb and slow right
Fingers and strumming still very cacat
The homework from my "teacher"
By next Saturday
I must master every chords and the transition
I can do it!
Count down
61 hours
ILY 

Be grateful Part II

Thanks dear for organising
He is unable to celebrate my birthday this year
So he asked some of my close friends to chip in to buy me a guitar
Which he wanted to do so badly
Never know Cavan and Raj will appear!
That's the mini surprise dear meant
I stunned for more than 0.01 s okay?
Hahahaha
We went for badminton session
Sweat sweat sweat
Lunch together
That is the first time we all talked about C&S relationship
So it is no longer a secret for them
After lunch then Bentley
Quite surprising actually
The guitar costs 400 bucks with bag,picks and tuner
Ibanez Acoustic
My Helix3
Thank you Dear,Jenn,Cavan & Raj
Really touched and surprised
This is the most expensive present I received from friends
Thank you once again
I'm happy to spend time with you guys
Maybe this will be the last time for us to reunion?
And dear
Guess I'm ready to accept ady
You can do it
I can do it too
I want you to go without any sadness
And I will always remember about the deal
God let me enjoyed for 7 months plus
I should be grateful enough to let go
Keep in touch
Will keep all the fond memories
Miss your everything
Last but not least
You can't stop me from saying
ILY

知足

六天五夜的trip 终于告一段落了
期间发生了一些不愉快的事情
但也有很多大家共同的回忆
这将会是我们最后一次那么完整的group trip

现在觉得很疲惫
但很想来这里抒发自己的情绪
原来我
真的真的真的真的真的真的真的真的
很不舍得你
尽管多么努力的压抑自己的情绪
最终也崩溃了
机场的离别拥抱
我忍住了眼泪
因为我认为那不是我们最后一次见面
就很不想那么早跟你告别
接下来的离别拥抱
我决堤了
泪水再也忍不住了
很想笑着跟你说再见
那么你就不需要有任何的牵挂
放心的离开我
但是我还是失败了
当下的感觉就是不舍得
你真的很特别，很独特
令我没有办法放手
就很想继续走下去
但我知道现在这一切都是不可能了

你常常告诉我要知足

跟你在一起这220天
让我学会了很多
很快的，我必须适应没有你的日子

少了你对我的嘘寒问暖
少了你对我撒娇
少了你那些无聊但好笑的joke
少了你温柔的声音
少了你的吉他声与歌声
少了你对我的唠叨
少了你跟我分享日常生活照
少了你那一些很特别很特别很特别的sound effect
少了你那一些我听不厌的故事
少了你那些大道理
少了你的拥抱
少了你的疼爱
少了你的吻
少了你的爱
少了你的一切一切
留下的就只是我们之间的回忆
留下的只有遗憾
留下的只有曾经幸福的感觉
留下曾经被你拥有过的幸福
留下一些悲伤
尽管如此
我从来没有后悔过我当初的决定
就是跟你开始
你真的有种魔力
可以让我空荡荡的脑袋
充满着你的模样
你的声音
我们的一切
眼泪干了
时间少了
真的真的真的真的真的真的
不
舍
得
还有
我
爱
你
恒

 

Marathon

Hello peeps
Today is 220612
The day which syane.ms.h2o finish her exam marathon since 150612
Finally,the super hectic A Levels life has come to an end
The feeling is not as great as I thought
Freedom is here wee..
So wertttt
Busy for 1.5 years and suddenly become so free
It is more likely to be emptiness instead of freedom
I have friends who don't like to snap picture
End up with 0 picture with classmates
So...a bit wasted lar
I don't care! Hope I can have a lot of pictures in Tioman Trip
Next Monday off to Tioman
My last trip with my gang
Today one of my classmates told me about the date of their flight
One of them is going to fly to Nottingham,UK on 18 Sept (pursuing Law)
One of them is going to fly to London,UK on 18 Sept (pursuing Medicine)
One of them is going to fly to Bristol,UK around end of Sept (pursuing Medicine)
One of them is going to fly to Hong Kong around Aug (pursuing Medicine)
One of them is going to fly to Hong Kong around Aug (pursuing Accounting)
The most important one is going to fly to Perth,Australia on 8 July (pursuing Medicine)
So sad
Result is coming out on 16 Aug
Basically now I have no idea where to go
No news from Singapore application
Just day-dreaming
Hahahaha
I'm happy to spend time with you today
A lot more to tell you
Seriously..
Really don't feel like letting you go
But I know it is impossible
The feeling is getting more and more real
Getting more and more =(
Let me keep some to myself
Mmmmmmm...

Goodbye

My exam starts officially tomorrow
160512
Good luck and all the best!
Don't panic
Think carefully
This is the last time and there is no more chance
So
No regret!
Put other things aside!
Good luck to my friends
Pray hard..
See you on 220612

Hwaiting!

Full of Frustration

I don't know what is wrong
Everything seems to be not right for me nowadays
God made my day not smooth
Full of depression and frustration
Maybe He has His own arrangement
So I keep reminding myself to stay strong
It is just one of the challenge in my life
Life is still long
I just can't take the frustration
I fed up,I cried,I get angry,I whacked myself
I did many things to hold myself back to the normal track
It must be my EQ problem
As usual
Some of you may be nodding at this moment
I admit I suck in that
Whenever I wish to give up
I tell myself
If I give up now,what is the point I persevere for so long?
All will be useless,meaningless
Is that what I want?
Definitely no
I want a better life
I don't want so much frets
I want Li Xuan to be stronger and tougher
But why I fail every time?

I'm really tired and exhausted
I keep telling myself to go through this period toughly
This frust period will end soon
Very soon
Trying to make myself to feel better
Today someone told me not to be good to everyone
It is true as you will get hurt eventually
Yesterday I experienced a terrible feeling
People threw away your cares and concerns like throwing rubbish
Okay. Maybe the timing is wrong
Fine. I don't want to care anymore
Thanks for your guitar session
You always be the reason for me to smile
Even though we didn't chat for long
But I felt better because I can feel you are with me
Besides that,I really want to thank someone
Someone who care and love me like a lover
I really appreciate
Without you,I can't imagine how miserable my life would be
Thank you for being there whenever I need you
Your consolation and companion are the best
Good luck in everything
I may not be able to give my companion as good as yours
But I just want to let you know

No matter what happen

You will still have me with you

Thank you very much and love yea
I'm really grateful to meet you and you
who understand me
Sometimes your respond is not the one I expected and wanted
But I still appreciate
Your existence is very very importance to me
Thank you and you for existing in my life
Make my life wonderful and colourful
I will try my best to convert the pain given by those whom I care into motivation
I will try my best to overcome the obstacles
I'm vulnerable
Please don't treat me good if you don't really want to
Please don't think everything I do is my obligation
I can choose not to care
But once I care for you
Mean you worth it
Don't just throw my care like rubbish
Do this if you think I'm nobody for you
To Sin Yee
All the best in your final exam
Same goes to me
Thank you for reading