Point of No Return

Hi! How are you doing? I just realise this is my first post in 2013! Surprisingly, it will be a good post! Hahaha.. I hope you have a great beginning of year 2013.

This message is addressed to the special bee.
" Thanks for your advices yesterday and thanks for being frank to me. You know it is pretty important to me. I thought a lot last night before I sleep. I shouldn't be so stubborn. People will grow after they have experienced something in lives. So do I. I think this is a good experience for us to deal with our lives, deal with the problems that we faced. It made us more matured in thinking as well as our behaviours. I believe things happen for a reason and there will be a good lesson behind the incident. If you are mine, you will definitely still be mine but if you are not, then force no happiness. Maybe I am a perfectionist and I can hardly accept what you told me yesterday. But I know we have to be practical and consider about some other thing else. I'm not in an island alone and I have family and friends who love me and care about me. Same goes to you. Those memories are not fake definitely. They are the evidences which show your existence in my life as my first love. Undeniably, you are an awesome friend who can light up my world when I am in darkness or so called dilemma. I am glad that I have you to lend me a hand when I need to walk through the dark tunnel. You should know I will always do the same for you. When you need me, I will be there for you and give you support. If you need to be secured or you need warmth, I can give you. I will still miss you when I am alone at night. I will still miss you when I hear your favourite songs or songs that belong to us. I will definitely miss the time when I was the only girl whom you had in your arms. I will learn to let go and expect less. I expect you to be my close friend yea! I hope I really can pull through and take it. It has been a long journey for me to do so, yet I failed. Now, I must make this as my new year resolution. You, my only one will still be my only one but with different meaning and different role. I will keep those laughters, happiness, tears, sorrow in my heart. Those were the elements of the process which are quite memorable. You must do the same and let's grow up together. Even though I still haven't let go totally at this moment but I am slowly accepting the truth. It has been six months since you left me. It is so short yet so long. Time will heal right? I hope I can keep this positive thinking until the day we both let go. One more thing I want to tell you, you are not the one who can decide who deserve me or stuff like that but God will do. So don't think that you are not good and I deserve a better one. I am not as good as you think and you should know I have many shortcomings. Perhaps, I won't go into any relationship at this moment. I won't hunt as I know the person will come to me if we are meant to be together. Last but not least, thank you bee. I am proud to be your first love. "

This message is addressed to the other two musketeers.
" Both of you are the most awesome friends I have ever had in my life. My sisters and my buddies! Yo! One of you is going to leave soon but I know you will still miss us right? You like ooVoo instead of Skype right? Hahaha.. We will make it! We still have a lot of crazy stuffs to do together right? Hope we can hang out more and stick together more. By the way, distance shouldn't be the obstacle between us. We can still maintain as we are connected! Both of you take care and all the best in your study k? We will meet soon! I hope busyness is not the reason to separate us apart and disconnect us. You are my bra and I am your bra. We support each other yea! "

This message is addressed to the birthday girl tomorrow.
" Happy birthday in advanced. I can see your event went quite well and you had fun! Sorry because I can't make it to support you. All the best in your study and don't stress yourself too much. You must always believe that you can make it. Thanks for your support and guidance which you have given to me. I appreciate you as my friend. Smile more and be crazy when you are with me k? No more image. Hahaha. Have a blast, sweetheart! "

This message is addressed to all the Chinese readers!
"Happy Chinese New Year in advanced! Don't eat too much because it is CNY. Hehehe.. Take good care of yourselves. Enjoy the moment with your beloved family. Lover put it aside first. Wahaha. Just kidding! Have fun! Uhm.. I am not being racist but those who are non-Chinese, Happy Holidays! You still can celebrate with your Chinese friends ( especially to Tharo ). "

Worse than BEAST

I am not sure whether you have read about this extremely saddening case on 16 December 2012. 

The gang rape case in Delhi, India

On 16 December, a 23-year-old female who is a physiotherapy intern was on the way back home with her male friend after a movie. They boarded a bus that was being driven by a joyrider. The woman became suspicious because the bus deviated from the normal route. Her male friend was beaten by the six men who were already on board. He was beaten by an iron rod. The woman suffered the same thing as those BEASTS dragged her to the rear of the bus, started beating her with the iron rod and raping her on a moving bus. She was raped for almost an hour and after that she was being thrown out from the moving bus together with her friend. They were found along the roadside in an unconscious state and partially clothed. 

According to her medical reports, she suffered serious injuries to her abdomen, intestines and genital due to the assault. The doctor said the damage indicates the penetration of a blunt object which is suspected to be the iron rod. Can you imagine an iron rod is being used to penetrate through our vagina?! They are not human! Why on earth they survive as a human? She was intubated, on life support and in a critical condition even after several surgeries. On 26 December, she was flown to Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore. FYI, Mount Elizabeth Hospital is a multi-organ transplant speciality hospital. However, the decision of transferring an ICU patient to Singapore was being questioned and criticized. She never regained her consciousness in Singapore. On 28 December, her condition deteriorated as she suffered from severe brain damage, pneumonia, abdominal infection. Eventually, she died at 4:45am (Singapore time) on 29 December. This is such a shocking news for everyone in the world. People keep criticising and condemning the bloody hell rapists. The six BEASTS would face death penalty if they are convicted of the murder of the woman. Seriously, I don't think death penalty is enough to punish them! It is just too little and easy for them. I get the chance to read a comment in a Facebook post and I would like to give a "like". This is what the best comment I have found, 

"The fact remains that this bunch of animals tortured, humiliated and killed a young woman who had a bright future ahead of her. They should get surgically transformed into women without any anaesthetic and thrown into a male prison to be gang raped every single day for the rest of their sorry lives!"

Rest in peace.

不懂怎么了

最近老是觉得事事很不顺心

心里的不到安慰，得不到平静

一直焦虑不安，也不知道自己在执着些什么，烦恼些什么

想法很负面

在这个时候，没有一个值得我依靠的地方-雪上加霜

尽管家人都在我身边，但我却难以启齿

朋友？一个字-忙

曾几何时我们之间的距离已经越来越远

我以为只要我坚持，事情会有转机，原来事实不是如此

朋友不需要很多，真心的有几个都够了

我还是头一次遇到那么失败的session

还蛮难相信这会发生在我身上

一向喜欢什么事情都安排好好的我

似乎不再这么想了

因为无论你安排得多么妥当，事情也会变得不妥当

我懂我不是一个很好相处的人，不是一个好惹的人

有些东西，坚持久了，人也会累的

尤其是单方面的坚持

真让人心力交瘁

不再敢渴望从你那里得到任何的安慰

很多事情已经变了

人长大了，什么都变了

思想也跟以前不一样了

人都是自私的，你在说那些话的时候，又是否考虑过我的感受？

有些时候遵从，并不代表我自己没有想法，这只是不要让局面变得很难堪

我不说你不懂，我说了你会懂吗？

我很想现在睡了都不要再醒来

Goals

Long-termed goals

• Be a successful and professional pharmacist. Get a good job scope and a working environment which I like. Earn money to give my family a better life. 
• Buy a house. This has been my dream since long time ago. 
• Travel. I hope I can get the chance to go around to understand the cultures in different countries. 
• Continue my study abroad. (if only it is possible). I understand it is not easy to study abroad but I just wish to have a try. 
• Slim down! I think most of us wish to do this! 
• Be moderate. Don't think I have a good character and temper. So I think I have to work harder.
• Speak fluent English. This may sound silly but I really wish I can. 

Short-termed goals

• First class honour!! 
• Get 30% off for my tuition fee to lighten my parents' burden. It is extremely hard to get CGPA 3.9 and above!
• Master guitar. At least learn one song in a month. 

I can't think of any at this moment. 

So far these are what I can think of.

See you. 

Announcement

If you're interested in reading my blog, here is another blog you may want to read.

Hope you like it. 

http://journey-to-my-heart.blogspot.com/

A Lesson To be Learnt

Someone told me
God loves us, that's why He gave us many challenges in order to make us tougher

As we grow, we met different kinds of matters 

When we were young, we used to think we will get whatever we crave for as long as we work for it

For example, parents offer a great present and request you to get excellent result

You will definitely work harder than usual in order to achieve the target that they set

After you have experienced certain thing, you will not think the same way

Too many things are beyond our control

Sometimes, no matter how hard we work, how much effort we put, we will never get what we want

We are just able to hope and wish to get it

That's how minute we are

Anyway, I always believe thing happens for a reason

All the things that happen to us in our lives are somewhere down the line, destined to happen

Try hard to convince yourself, your effort is not in vain
I extracted this from somewhere else

"Everything that happens to us in our lives happens for good and teaches us a lesson. Perhaps one should learn from every kind of experience whether good or bad. People who keep their chin up even in the worst testing circumstances can always end up making a lot out of their lives."

This comes to the end of my first issue

This thought came across my mind recently

The relationship between human seems so fragile

It is not easy to get friends who appreciate you 

At certain time, we will just get some obscure motivations

Things just don't go right when your eyes are blinded by something else

I should say heart instead

I just can't help it when I miss my friends who treasure me 

Feeling lonely when I can't get someone whom I trust to talk to, to rely on

We just need companion
Anyway, I shall stop here 

Hope you peeps are doing well

Enjoy your day ahead
Last but not least, thank you for spending your precious time

Say I LOVE YOU when You're not listening..

Today, 20112012

A memorable day which I will never forget

The same day in 2011, I hid in the blanket and said "tick"

I remember how fast my heartbeat was, I remember how warm my face was

And I remember how happy I was

That kind of intangible feelings still stuck in my head

I will never forget

Throughout the year, many things have happened and changed

We smiled, we laughed, we looked at each other, we sang together

We are glad that we are owned by each other

We were so happy to be together

Recall how we met, how we started the first conversation, how we started the first text message, how we got close, how we cared for each other without we knowing it, how we started our relationship...

Until one day, you told me that your PR in Australia was granted 

I cried terribly because I knew it cannot be continued any more

From the day onwards, there was a reminder set in my mind

We must appreciate the time we left 

After our Tioman trip, the feeling grew intensely as you were going to leave in few more days

The night before you left was a sleepless night for me

Recalled those nostalgic moments-our first "yours fits mine", our first hug, our first kiss

I still remember how many times I woke up and checked my phone

I woke up at the time you woke up, you set off from your house, you reached airport, before you departed 

I won't forget how terrible I felt during the first two weeks after you left

We are 2594.74 miles apart and I respect your decision

Until one day you said you wanna try LDR

I was happy but I was worried too

LDR is not easy to maintain and great determination is needed

I restricted myself from thinking too much

 I told myself to believe and persevere 

I believe you do too

So we trust each other and we text everyday 

I read a few of articles on LDR to get my stand firm 

Sometimes I will be touched by those words as they really describe my feeling 

We are far apart but we are happy 

In such a long distance, we still have someone whom we love to support each other

Communication is vastly important in order to catch up every single details of each other's lives

You will always be the wise one for me to refer and share my problems

You have such a power to make me feel calm and clear all my doubts

Of course, you always have the ability to make me smile

However, thing didn't go smoothly

Something has happened which led to the end of our relationship

"In a relationship" or "single" is just a status 

For me, we're not end yet

I still have the faith even though I know I shouldn't have this thought

I don't know how to stop myself from loving you and let you go

Today, I want to tell you

"Bee, happy 1st anniversary!

Our bond is extraordinary, beautiful and real.

It's remarkable how wonderful you make me feel.

Sometimes I look at the sky and I will think that you and I are looking at the same sky.

You will never know how much you mean to me.

I love you bee and thank you for loving me.

I don't know how you feel now but I just wanna let you know how I feel.
Tear drops because we are no longer together.

Heart smiles because we are still the ONE.
Thanks for telling me I'm still important to you.

I'm not going to text you all this as I don't want you to give me some kind of reply which I don't like.

So, I will just leave the message here and don't think you will see it.

Everyday I wake up and every night before I sleep, you're the one who occupy my mind.

I miss you very much.

Bee,I love you."